Emotional Security

BANG! At any given moment, Russian bombs can be launched, so we better be ready! Time for the "duck and cover" drill, children.

This is what we did to the baby boomer generation over and over again in the name of a false sense of security. As if cringing under your desk at school would save you from the horrors of nuclear war.

I can remember seeing those fallout shelter signs everywhere as a kid - particularly on the Pachyderm House at the Brookfield Zoo. They're much harder to come by, but you can still find them on occasion.

During the Reagan/Thatcher years I often had nuclear holocaust nightmares. The constant barrage of news reports and talk of "Star Wars" Defense shields wormed their way into my subconscious and terrified me at night while I slept.

Michael Moore's movie Bowling for Columbine made the serious point that we live in a culture of fear. When I first watched the movie, I was expecting a diatribe against guns. What I found and what has stuck with me and greatly effected my life, was film that opened my eyes to how we are constantly kept afraid.

Spend a day trying to see all the ways you are encouraged to be afraid--commercials that suggest you are too fat or too old, that you don't care for your kids the right way. CNN has up a story right now that claims "More cases of autism in U.S. than previously realized. Don't get me started on threat levels - yellow, orange, yellow again, RED, RED, orange... They're talking about revising those by the way - apparently they're simply going to eliminate blue and green (we never get to them anyway). Seriously - keep an open mind and think how many ways you are encouraged to be afraid - this should include topics of conversation with co-workers and friends as well as media images.

More Americans have died in the War on Terror than were killed on September 11, 2001. Countless Iraqis and Afghans, as well. Children in third grade now have never lived in a world without war - and are we safer? Even if by pure chance we were physically safer - are we emotionally safer?

How do we begin to combat this pervasive fear? First and foremost by being aware of it. If you can't shut off your television at least be more cognizant of the message behind the commercials. We tend to tune out the commercials, and, yet, the subtext creeps in. Start by actually listening to what they are saying so you can shut down the metamessage. Sally Field and Boniva are actually reminding you that you might end up with osteoarthritis and end up a crippled old woman so better take care of it today! Don't get me started on the erectile dysfunction commercials.

Shut off the news and be selective. If you must watch, once again, be aware. How many of the stories are selling fear? Fear can be titillating - it makes for headline grabbing news. Better to get your news from other sources than sound bite television. Remember that most news media is now actually infotainment more interested in maintaining viewers in order to collect ad revenue. If there is a way to crank up the intensity of a story (read make it scarier), they will do so.

If we are good little scared consumers, we will stay afraid and buy the things we are directed to "buy" to make sure we are safer--products, sermons, legislation. We will hand over power to those who we are convinced will keep us safer. I use that word, "safer," deliberately because the key is that we never really do get to feel safe.

True emotional security begins by creating a truly safe home - for you and your family and especially your children. It isn't about locks on the doors or disinfecting all the surfaces. It's about limiting the amount of negative energy (the bullshit) that you allow in and doing your damnedest to love the people who cross your threshold every day. Peace.