Same Versus Equal

"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal..."

I am the oldest of four kids. When I was growing up, my mom was extremely concerned about being fair. She was determined to treat her kids equally, and so a box of cookies was parceled out accordingly to ensure we each received the same number of cookies. To this day we have a family joke that when ever something happens with my one brother, we chalk it up to the fact that he "didn't get to have braces like the other kids." My mom wanted to be sure she treated us equally, but she didn't treat us as if we were the same.

I've been thinking lately how in our culture we have really started to confuse the two concepts. In the aim of wanting to establish equality we often tend to push sameness.

Perhaps one of the touchiest areas concerns gender. Do individuals deserve to be treated equally regardless of whether they are male or female? Absolutely. Does that mean that men and women are the same - not at all. I believe there are inherently different qualities that differentiate between masculine and feminine and that the tendency biologically is that we find a larger share of the feminine in biologically female humans and a larger share of the masculine in biologically male.

If you see, I am laying the groundwork for some over lap and variation. I myself am a gay man who enjoyed dress up and playing with dolls as a kid. It was what I was drawn to do. I was fortunate that my parents didn't challenge me and try and force me into more appropriate play. I, therefore, have a larger than usual portion of feminine in my biologically male body.

From a distance I have watched as my niece and nephew grow. My nephew has developed a strong love of trains and trucks. My niece loves pink girly stuff and dolls and baby buggies. In the past I would have argued that such behavior is strictly socialized. However, my brother and his wife have treated their kids like my mom treated me. They let the kids follow their own desires in play.

So what does this mean in terms of the fight for equality for women? This is where the same vs. equal confusion arises. We should continue to work towards providing equal opportunity, but we should back away from arguments of sameness.

Business, politics, science...those arenas are dependent on intellectual strengths. Diversity of opinion and thought is important. There should be a healthy balance in filling these positions between the genders. Differences between men and women do not come into play.

Firefighters, combat soldiers, construction workers...these jobs also have physical demands placed upon them and it is right and proper that only individuals who can meet the criteria be allowed to serve in those roles. Does that mean that women should be banned from these jobs? No. However, given the physical differences between men and women generally, we have to accept that a larger portion of men will qualify then women. We should not look at a fire department that consists of 60 men and 8 women as being inherently unfair and discriminatory.

Same vs. equal.

When I came of age, being gay was no where near as accepted as it is today. We were a decided sub-culture living in the demimonde. Thirty or forty years ago there was a much stronger view in the sub-culture that we were experimenting with new ways of living - we were demanding equality, but we were not arguing that we were the same. The free love lifestyle that is often recast as a gay lifestyle by our detractors was anything but respectable.

The AIDS epidemic came along, however, and changed the arrangements.

Today many cities are celebrating 40 years of Pride with parades around the country. Folks are arguing about legalization of gay marriage. The whole dynamic has shifted to a primary focus on "We demand equality because we are just the same." I can't help thinking that by confusing sameness with equality, we are losing something.

Finally, I would like to talk about immigration, heritage, nationality. What is occurring in Arizona is ugly. The laws being put forth in the name of stemming out of control illegal border crossings are simply racist at worst and politically opportunistic at best.

This country has traditionally demanded of its immigrants that if they want equality they must make themselves the same. For the Irish and the Italians and the Poles and the Germans this was simply a question of a name change and the passing of a generation or two in the family before the language of the old country was lost - along with the traditions and history. For our Asian, Hispanic, Native, or African citizens though achieving sameness is physically impossible.

Culturally we now challenge the melting pot assumption and fight for equality without sameness. The backlash ends up looking like Arizona legislation. English only laws. Racial profiling. The emphasis of Christianity (alright and Judaism) against Islam.

We hold these truths to be self evident, that all humanity is created equal...and different. Get over it.

How Do We Know...

Florence Nightingale is known the world round as a founder of the modern concept of nursing. What is less known is that from 1857 on she essentially took to her bed and stayed there. There are many theories and speculations about why she did this. It is merely a spring board for my post tonight.

I have had a very strange day. Once again I have effectively taken to my bed for the bulk of the day and only now in the evening am I feeling sufficiently rested to tackle some chores and blog. At least three different times during the day I felt so exhausted I simply curled up in bed and fell back asleep with the dogs.

At first glance one might simply assume that this is depression. I know depression and I don't believe that is the case. Lately it seems I simply cannot get enough rest. However, my lack of a firm diagnosis along with cultural norms regarding sloth and laziness tend to make me a bit hard on myself. I tend to question what is occurring instead of simply listening to my body and being satisfied.

My arthritic condition, I should just start calling it my "rheumatism," is aggravating and the likely culprit for my lack of energy. Rest and sleep would be therapeutic then, so why do I feel so guilty and out of sorts?

It is so hard to recognize what it is we need in this world and then harder still to allow ourselves to have what we need. We are constantly told what we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to do it. I am surrounded by a number of individuals who seem incapable of just sitting and being still. They never seem to stop moving. One of them uses the term "lazy" for every moment that she does manage to sit and just relax.

Next to them I am a downright slothful libertine. I just don't see the point in all that busy-ness. It seems like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Better to simply our lives and just be. If that means sleeping when one feels sleepy or letting the dirty dishes pile up, so be it.

Simple Gifts

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

I almost started this post out as "Little Gifts," but then this tune entered my consciousness. Following the lead of the Spirit, I changed gears and here you have the end result.

Today has not been the greatest of days. For all the myriad reasons we find ourselves having just a mediocre day, the reasons matter not. Suffice to say I've been in a blah kind of mood.

Georgie and Mary are coming round tomorrow to help me rescreen my porch. I loathe flying bloodsucking insects, and, with all the holes currently in the screening, I have not been able to sit in my hammock chair and enjoy the woods.

This necessitated a trip to Lowe's to purchase materials. I loaded up one of those fancy two tiered carts with what we will need and proceeded through the check out. When she rung up one of the items the price caught me by surprise. It was twice what I had thought it would be. Truth be told, I hadn't paid much attention as I put the roll into the cart. All the choices and tags--I find it a bit overwhelming.

I paid my bill and pushed the cart out to the car. As I unloaded I saw the three smaller items lying there at the bottom of the cart. $3.98 each - $12.00 unaccounted for. I knew right away that she had neglected to charge me for them. With only the briefest pause, I knew what I had to do. I finished unloading the car and then pushed the cart back into the store.

I went to the registers, but the cashier was gone. A guy who was probably the front end manager came up and I explained to him what had happened. My simple gift was in that interaction. Sadly they were truly surprised that I had come back in to pay.

"Most people would have just kept on going." I told them that if we give up our honesty what do we have left -- not much.

As I drove away, I felt my foggy mood lifting. The Holy Spirit had found a way for me to cut through the groggy layers and see what kind of person I am.

When Jesus talks of not being of this world, the tendency is to think physical world - that he is of the spiritual plane over the physical. I read this article many years ago in which the author explained that the Greek word translated as "world" might better be translated as "world system." Jesus chooses not to live according to the world system.

It's a dog eat dog world. We are encouraged to get the other guy before they get us. We are reminded to grab our share at every opportunity. Fight to get ahead. I try to be like Jesus and not be of this world system. Peace.

Perfection-ISM

ISM's...they're a complicated lot. They often seem to be linked to some extreme ways of thinking--racISM, sexISM, nationalISM, CommunISM, capitalISM, fundamentalISM, atheISM... What is it with ISM's anyway? They seem to often end up as dogmatISM.

Interestingly ISM's seem to usually be linked to a belief system. Although one may not agree with a particular belief system, at least those ISM's make a bit of sense. Believe in the superiority of your race? racism Believe in the literal truth of the Bible? fundamentalism

However, perfectionism is exceedingly problematic. What is it anyway? A belief in perfection? Better to say a belief that one can achieve perfection. Where does that come from anyway?

ISM's seem to spring from fear...fear of another race, fear of powerful women, fear of other countries...so what are perfectionists afraid of?

In the 1950's our culture via the new medium of television presented America with images of families - Ozzie and Harriet, Father Knows Best, Leave It To Beaver. These families were held up as the role models against which we measured our own families and everyone pretended that their families were as perfect as these television families. The end result was a significant feeling of alienation - what's wrong with me? Why am I not normal?

Thankfully the 1960's came along and television evolved and society began to speak to truth more openly. What a relief! It turned out that nobody's family was like those sterile black and white perfectly starched only one dry martini families. Unfortunately though it hasn't stopped some from still trying to achieve perfection.

Thankfully perfection doesn't exist. One can do his darnedest to control all aspects of his life in the false belief that one can have the perfect marriage, the perfect home, the perfect job, the perfect family. It is a false belief because that perfect marriage must involve a spouse, that perfect home must involve neighors, that perfect job - co-workers, bosses, and employees, the perfect family - children, parents, siblings. And darned if all those extra folks just won't cooperate! This can lead hopefully to an epiphany and a relinquishing of the need for control and perfection or it can lead sadly to pain and heartache.

The Serenity Prayer teaches us to ask for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I keep it on my refrigerator as a reminder. Most of what we encounter in life falls under the first statement - accepting the multitude of things we cannot change.

If one thinks about water in the stories of the Bible - which stories come to mind? I think of the breathe of God blowing over the deep in creation, Noah and the flood, Moses parting the Red Sea, Jesus's baptism, or the storm that Jesus calms. There aren't many stories of still water. God is in the turbulent water--that's when the important things happen.

God is in the turbulent water - God is in the chaos. Perfection is sterile. Perfection is dead. Perfection is devoid of color or emotion or life. Why would we seek perfection? Be not afraid - dive in and enjoy the turbulence. Peace.

BP: The Sorcerer's Apprentice

My thoughts are a bit all over the place today, so please bear with me. While checking in on Facebook, I learned that BP has admitted to purchasing key search terms on Yahoo and Google in an attempt to control the spin on this disaster. My comment attached as a shared the item in order to pass it along was, "Like oil the evil begins to float to the surface."

I followed a "Boycott BP" thread yesterday that ended in comments. There were folks who were actually defending BP, saying they're paying the price for this as well in the cost of all that lost oil and the lost rig, etc. I wonder how folks can be so clueless.

Others have posted philosophical pieces that remind us to search ourselves before we point fingers at BP--the idea being that our huge consumption needs have created BP and are therefore somehow responsible for this spill as well.

However, while all the philosophizing, all the finger pointing, all the analysis continues so does the gusher. Gallon upon gallon, barrel upon barrel, in numbers that are beginning to be too large to adequately comprehend, this spill, this meltdown, this monstrous leak is spreading death to the Gulf of Mexico. I came across the widget that is now placed at the top of this blog. It will remain there while the gusher continues.

Here in the Upper Peninsula folks have been fighting what I believe to be a futile battle to keep Kennincott from building a sulfide nickel mine. The company has put forth all kinds of assurances how this will not destroy the Yellow Dog River watershed. Pictures from other sulfide mines tell a different story.

Here too there are those that support and defend the mine in the name of job creation. They blind themselves to the short term job gains - this mine is not expected to produce for decades, but rather is having its estimates measured in years only. As such, I can't help thinking that this is a gross form of prostitution.

Why should we be against prostitution after all? Shouldn't we defend it in the name of jobs creation? Will we allow anything so long as we can justify some slim economic gain?

I suppose this brings me back to Deepwater Horizon/BP. In the months prior to this catastrophe, President Obama had begun a call to expand off shore drilling. No surprise that he has quieted down about that for now. Scattered over the internet are numerous calls to end off shore drilling, using this incident as proof that this practice must be stopped.

I am decidedly pro-environment. However, when I consider the situation honestly. The problem in the Gulf is not "off shore drilling." The problem was/is lax regulation. The problem continues to be inadequate means for holding corporations responsible for clean up.

Here in the Upper Peninsula - the actual surface disruption to be caused by the sulfide mine is very minor. The presence of the mine itself is not the problem. The problem is potential contamination. We fear the destruction of an ecosystem by contamination and we fear that the company will be long gone leaving us to foot the bill.

British Petroleum (we will continue to learn) cut corners to increase profits. They were able to do this because of incredibly weak government regulation. They were able to justify the risks because the current legislation regarding financial responsibility for clean up is so inadequate.

I am reminded of an urban legend I was told about speed limits and enforcement in the state of Montana. At the time of the federal mandate to implement a 55 m.p.h. speed limit or lose highway funding, Montana lowered the bar on their fines...down to $5. Apparently folks would simply keep a stack of $5's on the dash so they could pay their fine for speeding and be back on their way. In other words, the fine was inadequate to incite the correct behavior. Speeding continued so that folks could drive as fast as they wanted.

We have no idea of the long term ramifications of this disaster. It is not a stretch to say that BP's response will be inadequate. Whatever settlement they reach, we will be paying for the clean up and there will continue to be inadequate funding for education, for health care, for the aged, for the poor. The wars for oil will continue - no one talks about how Iraq is really about the oil any more - in fact, we hardly talk about Iraq anymore at all. Lest you forget, Afghanistan is to be home to an important natural gas pipeline so we have access to the massive natural gas reserves in Turkmenistan.

Finaly, our consumption will not abate one drop. The calls are to boycott BP as punishment. The best boycott would be to park our cars and stop buying the gasoline completely. The best boycott would be to not purchase airline tickets. The best boycott would be to stop the massive consumption of plastic waste. Sadly that will not happen.