I'm finding it a challenge to blog with my new set up. I am still so much into writing in the moment. I drove into town this afternoon to run errands and have a bite to eat at a place I know has wireless. I managed some of the blogs I've been following via Google Reader and my Smartphone.Finally now I am going to blog out what I have been pondering lately, especially as an image came to me just now of Christopher Robin.
When I was little, I was a very quiet and shy kid. I had my school friends, but I don't recall lots of socializing with those kids outside of school. It seemed that I always had one or two neighborhood friends that I socialized with. Not until we moved to Michigan my sophomore year of highschool to I begin to have a circle of friends with whom I regularly got together and got into trouble.
Prior to this I lived in my head reading everything I could get my hands on. When I was in junior high I worked my way through John Jakes' Bicentennial Series, a number of very fat novels of historical fiction following the Kent family through pre-Revolution on up to the near present day.
Well, what has been on my mind lately is that my life seems to be reverting back to my Christopher Robin days. Lately the number of local folk that I regularly socialize with continues to disappear. I do get together for saunas with my neighbor, Heidi. Otherwise it is me, the animals and my books and movies.
I have blogged before on my secular hermit status. What I'm thinking about now is why this doesn't seem to bother me. First off, I have a small group of folks with whom I maintain a telephone/text/cyber friendship. Beyond them is my Facebook/blog network of cyber friends around the globe - literally - Lindy is in China, Jack is in the UK, PJ is in New York, Goren is in Sweden, Maria is in Missouri, Robert is in Alaska...the list goes on. I don't feel isolated in the least (well, most of the time).
I come across articles that are bemoaning the way that social networks are taking over our lives. I myself have been frustrated in the past with my siblings' relying on a simple Facebook friendship link without any regular interactions even on the network as an apparent acceptable substitute for them to an actual live connection, mainly via the telephone.
An acquaintance just had their third child last weekend. Rather than call the grandparents, they made the initial announcement on Facebook. Some in their family struggled with that decision.
Yet, there is something genuine and good in these connections. We are all struggling with frustrations and sadness and a poor economy and disappointment. There's a connection there that is in many ways more immediate and liberated than relying on the formality of phone calls. I can roll over in bed and grab my phone and see who's commented on Facebook, who's sent me a message, etc.
I have argued in the past that the seeming superficiality of these connections is in truth no less superficial than the majority of our day to day relationships. We put a significant weight on the physical presence of the other, yet what we truly value is the spirit of that other. We transcend the physical with our miraculous technical methods of connecting.
This past weekend I was actually in a mood to watch the Packer/Bears game and thought I'd sit and watch it with Heidi's husband. She messaged me on Saturday "not to feel bad" but Steven didn't want me to come over. She made an excuse about him preferring to watch the game alone. I didn't exactly buy the excuse and still suspect that he was not comfortable having me over with no one else home. My point in bringing this up is simply to reinforce my argument that these "real" relationships are just as superficial or more correctly that my cyber relationships have as much depth.
So why Christopher Robin? Well, the entire Winnie the Pooh world is essentially in the head of one little boy. As I sat down to think about my evolving life pattern of socialization, I realized that my entire social network is essentially in my head (with the help of technology) and if Christopher Robin can do it, why not me?
That picture at at the top of the post? The text is as follows:
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."”
I have many such moments with my cyber friends. I reach out and they are there, just so I can be sure of them. It's remarkably easier to do than with the folks in my physical life. Peace.
5 comments:
Lately,I have grumbled about the communication from my Uncle Gordon in NV (he's in his late 70's), which seem to be only forwards. While I detest forwarded e-mails, I should be happy that I get any contact from him at all. Before he got a PC, we got only the prefunctory holiday call and maybe a birthday card. Now I get something from him weekly, albeit only a forward. Glad to hear from you Uncle Gordy!!! ---Lynn W-Illinois
At least the web/internet/facebook has the capability of "instant" information transfer. In reference to the birth announcement, I do believe the grandparents should be notified by a phone call so they may get the play-by-play questions answered as to the arrival of the bundle of joy; however, if this was 1880 and the birth took place on the prairie, the grandparents would have to wait for a letter up to a month later!
I can't imagine having gotten through the past year (perhaps the past ten years) without my cyber connections. I am fortunate to have strengthened and deepened some friendships with local people, but sometimes only the cyber network seems strongest and truest. I suppose it is all in my head, but my head does imagine some pretty wonderful things. Even more amazing, is that those I've finally met in person are every bit as wonderful (or more so) than I imagined. (Larry, just keep that Hannibal Lector mask away when I come to visit ;) )
Lately, I've also been thinking of all the ways people use Facebook to announce things. Last week I learned that my nephew and his wife were getting a divorce! Marriage proposals, divorces, baby announcements, declarations of labor, etc. are all put forth on FB.
Thank you for this heartfelt post.
I figured out part of what the social network emulates when we create deep connections with our cyber friends. I thought of it when you talked about rolling over in bed and checking your phone.
I think it's just the simple "checking on one another" that families do in person every day when they live in the same house. Stuff like "I'm going to the kitchen, do you want a glass of water too?" or peeking in the bedroom and going, "wake up!"
Those little human connections.
There is a piece of that, for those of us who are mostly happy living solo home lives, that brings a loving family back into your living room, just to check on, and be checked on, in a loving way.
Post a Comment