Perfection-ISM

ISM's...they're a complicated lot. They often seem to be linked to some extreme ways of thinking--racISM, sexISM, nationalISM, CommunISM, capitalISM, fundamentalISM, atheISM... What is it with ISM's anyway? They seem to often end up as dogmatISM.

Interestingly ISM's seem to usually be linked to a belief system. Although one may not agree with a particular belief system, at least those ISM's make a bit of sense. Believe in the superiority of your race? racism Believe in the literal truth of the Bible? fundamentalism

However, perfectionism is exceedingly problematic. What is it anyway? A belief in perfection? Better to say a belief that one can achieve perfection. Where does that come from anyway?

ISM's seem to spring from fear...fear of another race, fear of powerful women, fear of other countries...so what are perfectionists afraid of?

In the 1950's our culture via the new medium of television presented America with images of families - Ozzie and Harriet, Father Knows Best, Leave It To Beaver. These families were held up as the role models against which we measured our own families and everyone pretended that their families were as perfect as these television families. The end result was a significant feeling of alienation - what's wrong with me? Why am I not normal?

Thankfully the 1960's came along and television evolved and society began to speak to truth more openly. What a relief! It turned out that nobody's family was like those sterile black and white perfectly starched only one dry martini families. Unfortunately though it hasn't stopped some from still trying to achieve perfection.

Thankfully perfection doesn't exist. One can do his darnedest to control all aspects of his life in the false belief that one can have the perfect marriage, the perfect home, the perfect job, the perfect family. It is a false belief because that perfect marriage must involve a spouse, that perfect home must involve neighors, that perfect job - co-workers, bosses, and employees, the perfect family - children, parents, siblings. And darned if all those extra folks just won't cooperate! This can lead hopefully to an epiphany and a relinquishing of the need for control and perfection or it can lead sadly to pain and heartache.

The Serenity Prayer teaches us to ask for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I keep it on my refrigerator as a reminder. Most of what we encounter in life falls under the first statement - accepting the multitude of things we cannot change.

If one thinks about water in the stories of the Bible - which stories come to mind? I think of the breathe of God blowing over the deep in creation, Noah and the flood, Moses parting the Red Sea, Jesus's baptism, or the storm that Jesus calms. There aren't many stories of still water. God is in the turbulent water--that's when the important things happen.

God is in the turbulent water - God is in the chaos. Perfection is sterile. Perfection is dead. Perfection is devoid of color or emotion or life. Why would we seek perfection? Be not afraid - dive in and enjoy the turbulence. Peace.