tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56993990215902834472024-02-20T21:18:55.786-05:00Renz In The Woods<b>"The world is not a place but the vastness of the soul." - Amy Tan</b>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.comBlogger199125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-13244036940462082982019-05-27T23:15:00.003-04:002019-05-27T23:36:14.371-04:00We’ll Always Have Paris...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14px;"><i style="background-color: white;">“I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14px;">So I finally started watching the second season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel .” In The opening episode Midge’s mother runs away to Paris unhappy with her life in New York. Her husband goes to retrieve her and is convinced to stay. Before long we see their rekindled romance as they experience the novelty of bohemian Parisian life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14px;">Saturday was an awesome day. I went to my mom’s apartment to set up meds. Afterwards I stopped into the little cafe on the corner for a late breakfast. I sat there enjoying the milieu and thinking about that episode of Mrs. Meisel.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14px;">Why do we think we need a Paris to escape to? Why do we romanticize these far away places we may never see? Imagine spending your life with your spouse, but constantly sighing over some unattainable Hollywood heartthrob...that would be sad and exceedingly unhealthy. So why do we do that to the places in which we live?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14px;">Why can’t we see our own spaces through Parisian lenses? I love where I am living. There are moments that feel like I’m in some South American city. Berwyn is very Hispanic and it is an older, more urban suburb. I’m certain that the secret is within. It is about accepting our lives where they are. It is about living today in the now and not floating through one’s day and place waiting for some imagined future other place that may never unfold.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #073763; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14px;">As you begin your post holiday week, I challenge you to take time in your day to stop and look. Don’t piss off God by ignoring the color purple as you pass. Stop and smell the lilacs! Breathe deep. This is your Life...right now...it’s not a dress rehearsal for something else. </span></div>
RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-57935633926976189882013-10-12T13:57:00.002-04:002013-10-12T13:57:18.674-04:00Magic In The Woods<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I absolutely love this time of year...it speaks to my soul. Over the years I have been accused in jest of being a witch. This is the bewitching season.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today the woods are ripe with dripping magic. There is a yellow green glow as the leaves continue to ooze away their summer life blood. Those that have broken free from their summer branches are adrift on the breeze or coating the deck, the stairs, the roof, the ground.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is rutting season afterall. It is a powerful time of year. Animals are driven to mate so their pregnant mates can quietly gestate through the dark winter months.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Despite the shorter days and the creeping darkness. The chill at midnight. This is a time of life in transition. The mystery of death looms but it is not a permanent death. Even the Christian tradition is interwoven with this deep pagan sense of time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sex itself has been called the little death so it follows this time of the rut leads to the deep death sleep of winter...itself a time of gestation. At the peak of darkness on the winter solstice, we lift up our voices to implore the return of light. And into the darkness a baby is born. The symbol of the coming Light.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This IS a magical time. I listen to appropriate music, cast my spells and pray for the continuation of the endless timeless cycle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Peace.</span></div>
RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-36883825037169806612013-10-10T20:58:00.000-04:002013-10-10T20:58:08.856-04:00My Latest Obsession<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I just got off the phone with a friend after having a lovely conversation about motivation for creating art, the art itself, the need for an audience vs. creating for one's own sake and need. It has my mind reeling.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The individual at left is the French writer George Sand, her pen name. George often dressed as a man and wrote both novels and memoirs. My introduction to her was via her portrayal by Judy Davis in the movie Impromptu which tells a version of how George Sand met and wooed Frederick Chopin. It is a wonderful film with a great cast that includes Emma Thompson, Mandy Patinkin, Julian Sands, Hugh Grant, and Bernadette Peters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A former lover of George Sand, in the movie, is critical of her writing and declares that she enters into relationships for the sole purpose of being able to regurgitate them onto paper in the form of her novels etc. Sure enough, one of her novels, Lucrezia Floriani is a thinly veiled account of her relationship with Chopin. It was considered scandalous by our standards and so was only translated and published in English about 35 years ago. Trust me, by today's standards there is nothing remotely scandalous in the story.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was also able to find a nice Folio Society edition of her primary memoir on AbeBooks.com.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is an interesting consideration - is fiction valid if it is strongly based on one's personal relationships? Guessing to what extent various works of fiction reflected autobiographical bits is nothing new. My friend has been encouraging me to write. As a result of his inspiration, I have drafted the first few paragraphs of a possible short story as well as a "treatment' for a three act play. I looked back on a story idea I had toyed with about a year ago. In most of these cases I believe I would draw heavily on my personal experience in creating these "fictions."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tonight I confessed to him that I have been writing primarily to please him. I am not certain that I feel up to writing for a public, an audience. George Sand was notorious for writing fictions based on episodes from her life and her work was eagerly sought after by the public in the way that we grab the National Enquirer today to read about celebrities.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not sure I want that kind of scrutiny.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Peace.</span></div>
RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-26308522800842666282013-10-05T13:53:00.002-04:002013-10-05T13:53:43.934-04:00Hello, In There...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Well, now that I have the bugs worked out of Blogger, apparently I had to clear my cookies and cash...just like life...oh, my bad, cache... So the post I started is lost to oblivion and I must try to begin again from memory. (sigh)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I'm at it again...due to the inspiration of a particular friend. Thanks, darlin.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I usually start with a rough idea and a title and then seek an image and voila! Today I wanted to start with Hello, In There and while Blogger was acting all wonky, I went in search of an appropriate image for that phrase. Google Image search can be inspirational. However, imagine my surprise when a significant number of images turned up folks smiling at very pregnant bellies!?! I readily admit that there is a certain appropriate <i>je ne sais quoi</i> about a large girth and the image of being pregnant with brilliant ideas about to spring forth. I still thought better of it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I came across the other image which seemed much more appropriate - a perfect combination of canine humor and self-deprecation...essentially the fear that there is really nothing brilliant inside.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As some of you may recall, I walked away from my congregation in Marquette.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hold on...wait a minute...Blogger is still acting strange and not saving my entry. Grrrrr. I am having to manually copy and paste just in case.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Perhaps the world is trying to prevent me from unleashing my terrible wit on the world once again. As you may recall, I had left my congregation in Marquette and then subsequently blogged my opinion on church issues rather publicly here. As a result I angered a number of people. I do not regret anything I published and do not wish to delete those previous posts. However, I also do not want anything from the past to stir the pot all over again, hence the invite only format. Should you know someone who would like to peak in simply share there name and email and I will add them to the list.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Enough for now as I am not sure this will even publish. Peace.</span>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-57410045452670577282012-12-01T15:56:00.001-05:002012-12-01T15:56:54.400-05:00Penile Satisfaction? Excuse me?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Yesterday was the Feast of St. Andrew. No, neither of the young men in the drawing is named Andrew or Andy...though one of them is probably Randy. Sorry. Couldn't help myself.<br />
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The chaplain at work is an Episcopal priest and he and some of my regular congregation often get together and celebrate at the hospital in the chapel. A friend, of course, invited me to join them yesterday at the end of the day.<br />
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Fortunately, I was able to zip downstairs in time for the service. Leon, a friend, her husband, and myself made up the gathering.<br />
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Leon presided, and as is his custom, he was prepared to preach extemporaneously. However, there was a decided pause into which I jumped. I have been reading (among many other things) <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Proclaiming-Scandal-Cross-Contemporary-Atonement/dp/080102742X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354393162&sr=8-1&keywords=Proclaiming+the+scandal+of+the+cross">Proclaiming the Scandal of the Cross</a>. I had some questions about atonement theology and asked the group if a local priest's objection to "Atonement Theology" was unique or more universal in today's Episcopal Church.<br />
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And so we were off on a lively discussion of atonement theology and related topics. Three of us in the room were raised Roman Catholic and one was raised a Methodist.<br />
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What I am learning is that in response to the narrow focus of many churches today on one form of atonement theology - namely Penal Substitution - more liberal or progressive members of the church have thrown the baby out with the "bloody" bath water. Too many contemporary Christians have taken <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anselm_of_Canterbury">Anselm's</a> theology to the extreme belief of an angry, wrathful God who demanded a blood sacrifice of his Son to remove the Sin of mankind.<br />
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Many of our contemporary denominations either continue to emphasize or a tradition that emphasized the sinful, worthlessness of humanity. In the Episcopal tradition this is evident when one compares Rite I liturgy with Rite II liturgy. In addition to the more formal thee/thou language is a decided emphasis on groveling and pleading for forgiveness in Rite I.<br />
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This belief in the inherent "badness" of mankind fits hand in glove with the Penal Substitution theology - God demanding the blood sacrifice to cure us of our sinfulness in order to make God right with us.<br />
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More often now, you will hear this referred to as Penal Satisfaction theology - the punishment that Christ takes on to satisfy an angry God. This is because there are other forms of atonement theory that our substitutionary in nature - think Aslan in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion_witch_and_wardrobe">The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe</a>. Aslan (the Christ figure) substitutes himself for Edmund in order to satisfy the White Witch (the Satan figure) and allows himself to be sacrificed. Aslan has no issue with Edmund (man) but rather with the Witch.<br />
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Well, by now you will have either forgotten how I got your attention or you are completely baffled by my choice of title and picture.<br />
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I received a phone call just as I was sitting down to try and write SOMETHING for the blog as I hadn't posted in almost three weeks. It was my friend . She had a confession to make.<br />
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Now in hind site I realize that she had remained rather quiet during our discussion that went on for at least twenty minutes or more. She called and explained that from the moment that I introduced the concept of Penal Substitution - what she heard was Penile Substitution and proceeded to sit there quietly dumbfounded as to what in the heck we men were discussing.<br />
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In the midst of my laughter I realized how much more her confusion must have increased at the point that Leon introduced the newer terminology of "Penile Satisfaction!" We all have had a good laugh about this and I hope you now will have had a good chuckle while thinking about Atonement as we begin yet another church year tomorrow with the First Sunday of Advent. Peace.<br />
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PS - I also advised her to take a page from my book and never be afraid to stop a conversation and say, "Excuse me? What? Please explain, I don't understand." It's good advice.<br />
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<br />RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-22260384893095319732012-11-11T14:50:00.000-05:002012-11-11T14:50:56.222-05:00This Land Is Your Land, This Land Is My Land<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
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Once I finally got out of bed yesterday I had a lovely afternoon. I tend to sleep a great deal on Saturday, my work week leaves me somewhat drained. I finally arose, put on my flannel pj's, made a pot of coffee, and chose some music from iTunes.</div>
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It was a beautiful gray November afternoon. The leaves are still there but all on the ground now leaving bare maple trunks for as far as the eye can see. I selected Harry Chapin. A few of his songs always crack me open and make me look inside. Damn if he didn't have me quietly weeping at least once.</div>
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I thought about blogging yesterday but decided to wait. Now having been bombarded by images on Facebook, I suppose I am choosing to blog about a different set of Veterans. They may not have put on a uniform, but they have fought for the cause of freedom and justice just as hard as any soldier. Their war has never ended.</div>
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I believe I can say this as I am also a garden variety veteran having served in the Navy when I was but a pup. It is not my intention to take anything away from the men and women who have served honorably in our military, but, frankly, between Memorial Day, Veteran's Day, Fourth of July, and a any other day we can stretch to include a hearty "Support Our Troops" battle cry, soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines get a lot of attention in our War Culture.</div>
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As I sat down to blog about the powerful skills of Harry Chapin among others, I began to envision a different kind of "veteran." The CDs I have include snippets of Harry talking to his audiences and/or conducting interviews. He was big into fighting world hunger and many of the audio snippets are of him talking about hunger and poverty.</div>
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Harry mentions Pete Seeger as one of his heroes - that's him at the top of the blog. I suppose that got me thinking about other artists who have used their voices to fight for peace and justice. Of course, some would argue that these individuals were down right un-American - claim they lacked true patriotism. </div>
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I am an Episcopalian (via Roman Catholicism). If I were to ask you, What is the Church? How would you answer? Would you say, it's the buildings - the parish churches, the Basilicas, the Cathedrals? Would you say it is the Liturgy - the rituals, the vestments, the incense, the hymns? Would you argue that the Church is the clergy - the Pope, the Archbishops, the Bishops, the Priests? I believe the church is the people. All those other things merely support the Church - the People of God.</div>
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In a similar way, I believe that our country is the people. Our country isn't the buildings and memorials. Our country isn't the rituals and pledges and jingoistic songs. Our country isn't the politicians or they offices they hold. Our Country is US. Therefore, those individuals who have fought the State, challenged the government, stood up to the Corporations...all in the name of fighting for justice for the people are true patriots. They are the veterans of our on going war against poverty and injustice.</div>
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So on this Veterans Day I choose to remember: Rosa Parks, Dorothy Day, Caesar Chavez, Upton Sinclair, Howard Zinn, Russ Feingold, Noam Chomsky, Malcolm X, Joan Chittister, Helen Prejean, and many, many others who wore the uniforms of Woman's Suffrage, Labor, the Habit of the Church, the humble garments of the poor. Please feel free to add your names to this list in the comments. Peace!</div>
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<br />RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-81596880969630803532012-11-05T18:48:00.001-05:002012-11-05T18:48:22.019-05:00To Dream The Impossible Dream<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am continuing to try and get back into a blogging groove here. So I apologize for the facile nature of some of these posts. I must just write...</div>
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I am a hoarder of books. A significant portion of my mom's posts on Facebook are of homes stuffed with books and her comment that her son's house is like this...I'm flattered...I think.</div>
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I can own a book for many, many years and then pull it off the shelf at the right moment. For example, earlier this year I read a book by Walter Brueggemann, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Prophetic-Imagination-2nd-Walter-Brueggemann/dp/0800632877">The Prophetic Imagination</a>.</div>
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Actually, the story behind this book begins with a recommendation made my June Butler at her blog <a href="http://thewoundedbird.blogspot.com/">Wounded Bird</a>. I ordered the book and it sat on one of my many piled tables for a number of months.</div>
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Manuel Padilla our missioner made one of his frequent visits to our congregation and told us about a Walter Brueggemann DVD series they were doing at the church in Crystal Falls. It was rather clear that this six part series must be based on that book I had waiting to be read at home. I asked Manuel if I might borrow the DVD when they were finished. Once I had the DVD at hand I also proceeded to read the book.</div>
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In an early chapter of the book, Walter references some titles that catch my eye. In particular, <a href="http://thewoundedbird.blogspot.com/">Imagining Argentina</a> by Lawrence Thornton. He says, "Cavanaugh reflects on the force of liturgic imagination by an appeal to the novel of Lawrence Thornton, <i>Imagining Argentina</i>. In the novel, the key character, Carlos Rueda, is visited with 'a peculiar miraculous gift,' the capacity to create futures by acts of anticipatory imagination."</div>
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Essentially, Carlos dreams alternative realities to the horrors of the dirty war and these dreams come true. He dreams that those who the government have disappeared are alive and so they are. More on this in a bit.</div>
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So, although I haven't read <i>Imagining Argentina</i> yet, I did pick it up a few weeks back and read the first chapter, scanned the back cover and then looked at other titles by this author. One title in particular stood out, <i>Under the Gypsy Moon.</i> As I have said, I have a bit of a book obsession. Many years ago on one of my splurges, I had purchased a number of hard cover fiction titles from the book store where I was working that had caught my eye.</div>
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One of those books has sat unread on my shelves. Some of the authors I have selected over the years turned out to be "one hit wonders" - well, not even a "hit" necessarily. This one title in particular I had looked at and almost gave away on a few occasions. Yes, it was <i>Under the Gypsy Moon</i>, First Edition. I love when things like that happen.</div>
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This past weekend I took down another unread book from my shelves, Susan Wise Bauer's <i>The Well-Educated Mind: A Guide to the Classical Education You Never Had</i>. I began to read the first few chapters and decided that the time was right to follow her program. Of course, the fact that she mentions Anita Brookner and that I had just had a Brookner book in hand the night before (yes, unread)...gave me the little wink of harmonious "coincidence" that I needed.</div>
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And so I have begun a more structured reading of <i>Don Quixote</i> which includes journaling and taking notes. She also recommends finding a reading partner. Jim Livingstone is a retired English professor from Northern Michigan University and a member of my very tiny church congregation. I called him up to see if he was interested only to discover that just this past weekend he was thinking it was time for him to reread, you guessed it, <i>Don Quixote.</i> You may say these are all just bits of coincidence. I, however, choose to see them as little signals of being on the right path.</div>
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So I purchased some pens and journals and sat down to read <i>Don Quixote</i>. In 2003, Edith Grossman published a newly translated version that was well received. On a number of occasions I had considered buying the paperback of this edition. My attempts at curbing my addiction, however, had convinced me to postpone that purchase. Of course, I was simply delighted when I came across a pristine First Edition at my local bookstore for $9.00!</div>
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I am only a few chapters in and already I am wondering about the role of imagination in changing the world...think back to <i>Imagining Argentina</i>. In my notes I jotted down something said by Carlos Fuentes and quoted on the dust jacket, "<i>Don Quixote</i> is the first modern novel, perhaps the most eternal novel ever written and certainly the fountainhead of European and American fiction: here we have Gogol and Dostoevsky, Dickens and Nabokov, Borges and Bellow, Stern and Diderot in their genetic nakedness, once more taking to the road with the gentleman and the squire, <b>believing that the world is what we read and discovering that the world reads us</b>."</div>
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This idea...that we can alter the world with our imaginings--that we CAN change things on the eve of the 2012 Presidential Election--gives me hope. Hope to dream the impossible dream.</div>
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Peace.</div>
RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-13319738130089024612012-11-03T18:05:00.000-04:002012-11-03T18:05:09.800-04:00Do You Recognize Her?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is Malala Yousufzai, the fourteen-year-old girl who was shot in Pakistan on her way to school because she was attending school. She was defying what the religious extremists had declared as proper in the eyes of God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was commenting on Facebook today. A longtime friend from high school who is a partnered lesbian posted a current meme pleading with her friends and families that if they love her they would not consider voting for Republicans. It links to a Huffington Post article entitled </span><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christopher-hennessy/the-big-lie-i-love-my-gay-friends-but-im-voting-for-romney-anyway_b_2030629.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Big Lie: I Love My Gay Friends, But I'm Voting For Romney Anyway</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My comment on the thread was, "Been slowly cutting ties with alleged friends that turn out to be Republican..." The next comment was by Ed, someone who I am presuming to be Republican. He responded, "Unbelievable that such thinking in the last post could exist. Words just can't describe that level of mouth-breathing, degenerate mentality." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I only stated that I am no longer considering Republicans to be "friends." (Excuse me while I pause to wipe the fog off my lap top screen from my degenerate mouth-breathing.) If perhaps you agree with Mr. Ed that my comment was that unbelievable over the top that he is left speechless or if you are Mr. Ed himself who I intend to invite over here to have a read, then perhaps the rest of this post will explain myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Let's go back to the image of Malala. Her desire for equality, her challenge to the theocratic status quo, was deemed so threatening that they attempted to assassinate her as an example to any other uppity women taking the American message of equality to heart. You may wonder what that has to do with me?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Back in 1989 I was living in Florida attempting to find gainful employment. For Halloween that year, the friend with whom I was staying and I drove down to Key West for the long weekend. Two points here for background information. (1) Halloween is THE gay high holy day (well, at least for the boys), (2) Key West is one of a few points on the map that is decidedly PINK (think San Francisco, Provincetown, Greenwich Village, West Hollywood...).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was dressing up in this rather cheesy leather drag outfit...black pageboy wig, motorcycle cap, short black shorts, black nylons and garter belt, and HEELS. I had gotten separated from my friends, either to make a trip to a rest room or some such thing and was walking back to be with them during the big Halloween Parade. I was walking past this young man and his girlfriend when he gets in my face and points his finger up close and with an unbelievable level of hate dripping in his voice he informs me that I deserve to be shot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thankfully on this crowded street he didn't feel capable of carrying out his threat. Imagine the embarrassment if they had to have laid me out in the morgue in THAT outfit. I'm sorry but the only way I can still emotionally deal with that level of hatred is through black humor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Earlier this year a <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2012/may/22/nation/la-na-nn-pastor-wants-to-put-gays-lesbians-behind-electrified-fence-20120522">North Carolina pastor preached</a> that gays and lesbians should be rounded up and put into a camp until we die off. The video of his sermon went viral. There is a profound level of hate out there. Hatred of gays and lesbians, hatred of transgendered folk, hatred of Muslims, hatred of undocumented Mexicans, hatred of African-Americans, especially the guy in the White House.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Lock and load" and other quaint little tid bits of gun rhetoric are regularly used by the Right. Lest we forget that infamous map with the gun sites over the politicians to be targeted, one being Democrat Gabby Giffords... Thanks be to God that she is alive today and can serve as a reminder to those who hate that we will not be silenced.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This past month was the anniversary of Matthew Shephard's death. I could pull up the information on the physician who was murdered because he performed abortions. The examples of right wing inspired violence goes on and on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For me though it will always go back to that otherwise unremarkable young man who believed in his anger, disgust, and hatred that I deserved to die because I was gay.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Mr. Ed (the shocked man who feels I have no right to choose my friends based on politics) thinks that the gay thing is just another "issue" and one can't make a decision based on a single issue. I'm sorry, Ed, but this is more than one issue. This is part of platform that would grant increasing power to what can only be called The American Taliban.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Many people out there want to believe that Mr. Romney is really just a nice guy who's a bit misguided. Well, that misguided, would-be President, chose as his running mate a politician who wishes to impose his conservative Roman Catholic beliefs on the rest of us. The runner up in that God Awful beauty contest known as the Republican Primaries is non other than former Senator Rick Santorum (you can Google his name if you can't remember him, go on, you really should...). He too is ready to impose socially conservative Roman Catholic ideology on us all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It has been declared improper to bring up the National Socialist Party from history. We are not allowed to see any comparisons between the rise to power of the Nazis and what is occurring in American politics today. All I will say is that a significant number of otherwise good natured Germans repeatedly handed over power to one Adolph Hitler as the man who stood for a powerful Germany, who would bring the right kind of change so desperately needed, and who brought along some rather extreme social ideas as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No, I am not comparing Mitt Romney to Hitler. He doesn't have nearly enough charisma. He is simply a very spoiled, exceedingly rich, man who thinks it would be cool to be president (another son with "daddy" issues). However, there are some very frightening people in our country today who are waiting for the right individual so they can put on their brown shirts and start cleaning up this country. These people are the "base" of Romney's support and they are armed and dangerous.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so I am drawing a line in the sand for people who I deem to be my friends. I cannot respect anyone who would pretend the hate isn''t there and vote Republican. Mitt Romney has shown over and over that he is beholden to this extreme, tea bag right wing. The man who kenneled his dog on the roof of his car would throw gays and lesbians under the bus if it meant he kept his hold on power.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If that isn't enough to convince you, then perhaps we should talk about what this means to women and girls. If the Republicans take control of the Federal Government, how long before an American Malala is attacked on her way to school for being too uppity? Peace.</span></div>
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RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-85842857487247056322012-11-01T19:42:00.001-04:002012-11-01T19:42:50.291-04:00Day of the Dead<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Perhaps I should have titled this post <i>Dia de los Muertos</i> so it would sound less like a horror movie. Halloween (All Hallow's Eve), All Saints Day, Day of the Dead, All Souls Day...it's a special trio of days - a healthy mix of pagan and Christian - this year included the added treat of the Hunter's Moon just before.</div>
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I hope you're not expecting anything profound. I am determined to resurrect the blog and forced myself to sit down this evening without anything in particular to say.</div>
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That's not completely true. The rather nasty combination of Mother Nature and politics has given us much to write about, <i>ad nauseum.</i> However, I truly believe that vast majority of us have all made up our minds regarding the coming elections. If you know me, you know my politics. In most cases I believe I know yours. I have been disappointed to learn about some dear friends of mine - their persuasions politically speaking leave me rather baffled.</div>
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One political party has very vocal members who are actively working to keep me and my kind second class citizens - one politician going so far as to suggest that folks like me should be rounded up and placed into camps until we die off. This vocal minority scares me. Therefore, when I learn that friends and family support this party, that they are willingly supporting a party that has a significant number of members who hate me for nothing more than falling in love with other guys...I am saddened.</div>
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Well, back to the day at hand... I posted last about the family gathering. This was my dad's family. I felt the presence of my grandparents - both long deceased. There has been some unfortunate disagreements that have left a major rift between members of this branch of the family. I don't want to go in specifics so if that doesn't seem a strong enough description for some, my apologies. It was the first time that almost all of us were gathered and the grievances were set aside out of respect for the occasion. I am certain that this pleased my grandparents who were there in spirit. Both sets of my grandparents put a very strong emphasis on family. Perhaps we can build on that brief truce and begin mending fences. I'll keep hoping and praying.</div>
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I was fortunate to know two of my great grandmothers briefly as a child. These were my mom's two grandma's. My mom tells the story of visiting one of them as she was dying in hospital. She commented to my mom who was twenty-eight at the time on how fast life flew by. Now my mom is approaching that same age as her dying grandmother. I am almost as old as my oldest grandparent on the day I was born. It really does fly by.</div>
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Perhaps why I like this triad of days. It is set aside to remember those who have gone before us - family and friends. I've only just really grasped that most of my grandparents' generation is gone. My grandmother and her sister both hang on in their nineties. My great aunt just lost her husband this past week. I believe that one of their sisters-in-law is also still alive. On my dad's side, I believe they are all gone now, except perhaps my grandfather's sister-in-law. These were the "old" people of my youth at family gatherings and they are almost all gone. I remember them all on this day.</div>
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RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-80484666361504931142012-10-28T16:17:00.000-04:002012-10-28T16:17:06.299-04:00Back Again...Thanks, Aunt Dawn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQDd5rV5k4hP-rtpT7znUVPSeASipDWAWEerG0dlCN9R59j7ZUeNibEmnD8AkA8AETtipqYyAJA2Kp7j8Swt-uaf9VWPYkqjdaB-eNjrNwvfohEJfFLCXsjkDi4YiRRMVMWO5mwLtINg/s1600/vertigo-new.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQDd5rV5k4hP-rtpT7znUVPSeASipDWAWEerG0dlCN9R59j7ZUeNibEmnD8AkA8AETtipqYyAJA2Kp7j8Swt-uaf9VWPYkqjdaB-eNjrNwvfohEJfFLCXsjkDi4YiRRMVMWO5mwLtINg/s320/vertigo-new.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Last weekend I was at a family gathering out of state. I was able to visit with aunts and uncles and cousins and siblings and nieces and nephew and parents all together for the first time in a long, long time. One of my aunt's asked me when I would start blogging again, so this is for her. Thanks, Aunt Dawn, for the motivation.</div>
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I have been going through another time of significant transition. For me this usually involves poorly controlled anxiety/depression, other health related issues, my job, my home, my life, animals, aloneness vs. lonliness, and this year the election. Essentially I feel once again like my life is unraveling or to use another hackneyed metaphor - my life has always been a long and winding road and I've been willing to take off bravely down uncharted paths only now to find that I am at the end of a dirt road in the middle of no where, dead end.</div>
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Since I posted last, I have successfully weaned off of prednisone and my spondylitis is controlled primarily with methotrexate, but also with regular use of pain meds in the evenings. At my last appointment my doctor voiced concerns about my regular use of such meds because of the addiction potential. I challenged her on it and she said, "Yeah, but I wish you didn't need to take them." My smart alec response was, "As long as we are wishing, how 'bout we wish I didn't have the disease at all?"</div>
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Then I laid it out for her. What are my options? Restart prednisone? That will throw my diabetes back out of whack, require additional meds, perhaps even insulin, resulting in continued weight gain, etc. OK, how about the next level of medications, Embrel (?) for example. Unfortunately, I am Hepatitis B positive - most likely exposed via sexual activity when I was younger. I have never had full blown hepatitis, but the virus is there waiting. This other generation of meds comes with the handy side effect of triggering relapses of hepatitis. If I were to try those meds for better control, I would have to also take prophylactic treatment for hepatitis along side.</div>
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Neither of these options are worth the concern over my becoming a junkie. I told her that we haven't had any problems with creep and until I'm taking Vicodin for breakfast, I think we should proceed as we are doing. My "pain" is not significant - it is about a 2-3/10 burning sensation that starts up in various joints later in the day. I'll take my chances.</div>
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Do you ever get the Seven-Year-Itch? It is more than just a Marilyn Monroe movie, don't you know. It is the belief that happiness undergoes a crisis in seven year cycles, primarily that a marriage has issues in the seventh year. Well, I was approaching my seventh year in the house in town when I moved out here and I just had my seventh anniversary in this house, so you put two and two together and see what you think.</div>
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I don't know if I have any legitimate cause to gripe and whine about my life. Many of my contacts are dealing with significant life challenges...divorce, health issues in themselves or their spouses, financial struggles, etc. As I vent here on the blog, it is not that I believe my issues take priority, but rather that I show folks it is safe to share their struggles with friends and family. Perhaps some will find comfort in seeing that they are not alone. Perhaps I hope too much.</div>
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This last trip down South was the first time in fourteen years where I could have just stayed. The last two or three years have been very isolating. Watching my health deteriorate and having no one close by to rely on. I had a simply marvelous time on the family cruise in August with the nieces and nephew. I want so much to be a solid part of their lives and fear that given the distance between us all, that will continue to be difficult. A very good friend would like very much to share a two flat - which could solve some of the animal issues I would face in a relocation. I just don't know.</div>
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On the other hand, I do love my house. It is very affordable on my current budget. I only work four days a week at something that I am physically able to do. I enjoy my co-workers even if they try my patience occasionally (no doubt, I do the same to them). The dogs are free range animals here.</div>
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I don't have to make any immediate decisions. Of course, the ambiguity pushes my buttons. It was incredible fun to be in SideTrack again in Boystown. I was amazed that after fourteen years most of the guys in the bar were adorable! It seems my "eye" has changed with age and I am more forgiving of physical flaws. Could I actually find a relationship if I returned to the city? I am properly medicated now so much of my anxiety issues are under control. Would that possibility be worth giving up my current life? You may now see the meaning of my title image...emotional vertigo...</div>
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Well, this is a start at blogging again. I won't promise anything and it was incredibly self centered and facile. Forgive me...I'm out of practice. Peace.</div>
RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-30920069512145010802012-06-12T19:25:00.000-04:002012-06-12T19:25:02.076-04:00Radical Hospitality<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxfYU2yH-4eWONKjl25mrHe2V55YjHBNSDhvbxf05C4UfHWzZNjgz7hgBCnNsVNtNCXmtirVQW5rhI1MHjwm0V-1AxDM3JI8CtEEj8m6GV8aVXoJDD9Q5oRe6H7BqkewDrL5QkpUdPz7M/s1600/Jean-Valjean.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxfYU2yH-4eWONKjl25mrHe2V55YjHBNSDhvbxf05C4UfHWzZNjgz7hgBCnNsVNtNCXmtirVQW5rhI1MHjwm0V-1AxDM3JI8CtEEj8m6GV8aVXoJDD9Q5oRe6H7BqkewDrL5QkpUdPz7M/s320/Jean-Valjean.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">have previously mentioned that I am working my way through The Rule of Benedict. However, my good friend and cyber sistah, Maria, often talks about Benedictine radical hospitality. Back in the way back, weary travelers could appeal to the brothers at a Benedictine abbey for shelter and they would be welcomed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Although my brain can wrap itself around that level of hospitality, my contemporary brain ends up thinking of the brothers as an early Holiday Inn Express. As an image wandering travelers knocking at a gate and being welcomed with food, drink, and shelter just doesn't translate well for me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now Victor Hugo gave me a much better example of radical hospitality that I still wrestle with wondering if I would be able to be that welcoming. In <u>Les Miserables</u>, early on Jean Valjean has been released after something like 18 years in prison for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In 19th century France, a convict was forced to carry yellow identifying papers that were presented for everything and to not do so was cause enough to be sent back to prison for violating one's parole. Further, this was a time when towns closed their gates at night, unknown travelers were not trusted, and vagrancy was darn near criminal. Odds were highly stacked against a prisoner sent back into the world. Nothing like today (snort).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Jean Valjean knocks at the door of a kindly bishop who apparently lived modestly when one considers how bishops live today. Jean Valjean is exhausted, hungry, and without hope. He presents his papers expecting to be turned away, but the bishop invites him in as his guest. The cook/housekeeper is suspicious and sets the table with wooden dishes. The bishop corrects her and instructs her to lay out the silver for their guest. She is, of course, appalled.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm tempted to side step a bit and tell you the story of the frog and the scorpion but I will give you the bare essentials. After convincing the frog to carry him across the rising river to safety, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog asks the scorpion why he did that - that they will both die. The scorpion's response, "I couldn't help myself, I'm a scorpion."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well, Jean Valjean, in a moment of weakness, sneaks from his bed and bags up the silver plates and utensils and leaves...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not far down the road he is stopped and searched. The combined possession of his yellow convict papers with a bag of silver aroused the officer's suspicion. In a moment of desperation, Jean Valjean tells him that the bishop gave him the silver. He is forced to return with the officer and is mortified to face the man who's kindness he rewarded with theft.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is where the bishop's hospitality crosses over into the radical variety. The bishop answers the door and in an instant understands the circumstances. He chides Jean Valjean for forgetting to take the candlesticks as well. The officer is astonished, as is Jean Valjean. The bishop reminds him that he had given him the silver so he could turn around his life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">THAT is radical hospitality and I don't know if I would be able to follow the bishop's example.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have tried though. Time and again I offered things to my former neighbor out of compassion, not expecting financial compensation. Once I called him and asked him if he knew how to fix washers...he was a bit suspicious, "Yes. Why?" Well, I had bought a new washer and was going to give him my old one for one of his rental properties if he wanted it. It was in need of minor repairs.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Recently I responded to a request for housing. After living alone most of my adult life, I will be renting space to a graduate student and his dog. I continue to learn much from Benedict and feel very optimistic about t</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">his arrangement. Being able to share my home just seems right.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Peace.</span></div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-59279781333663331692012-06-11T21:00:00.000-04:002012-06-11T21:00:01.066-04:00Dirty Windows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">I </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">have lived in this log home (see pic above) for nigh on seven years. I lived in my house in town for almost seven years. Cleaning the windows was never a big priority. However, in town the house was a small ranch and I did clean them on occasion myself. This house is a bit of a tree house placing the windows up a whole story above the house in town. Further, this being the woods, this house is darker surrounded as it is by big tall trees.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">About a year ago, I finally decided to hire in some help and get the place thoroughly cleaned. Two years of mysterious pain and disability had worn me down. The house was filthy and I simply didn't have the strength and ability to clean it properly. As part of the "super clean" that I requested of the agency I hired, I requested that the windows and screens get cleaned.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The day of the big clean arrived and Cindy brought along a window cleaning man as a sub contractor. I was simply astounded by the results. More than one friend of mine, upon seeing the change, commented that it was about time I had gotten around to getting the windows cleaned.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is how I also experience my depression. Mine is not the unwashed, lying in a dark room, not eating, not sleeping variety. It is much more the frog in the tepid water, heated and slowly boiling to death.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Despite an awareness that March/April is the worst time of year for me - apparently I can't even do seasonal depression right - I still couldn't recognize how dirty my emotional windows had become.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I met with my doctor and we talked about the season and decided that if after roughly a month with the onset of spring and warm weather I still had not improved, I should increase my medication (Lexapro). I took a much needed vacation and went to visit with friends. However, once back home and at work I knew things were not improving.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I feel very fortunate that I have such a wonderful response to my drug. Many people don't seem to have the results that I experience. Within a very short time, I was looking through sparkling clean windows again and wondering why I had waited so long.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In my defense, I will say that chronic pain and fatigue from my auto immune condition in combination with the ongoing attempt to wean off the prednisone, and the constant though improved fluctuation of my blood sugars with the diabetes...it was very difficult to assess what was going on - all I knew for certain was I had no energy, I was requiring longer than usual amount of sleep each night, and my mood sucked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I can't help wondering about the dirty windows though. Why didn't those friends ever mention the appalling state of my windows and encourage me to get them cleaned? Was it out of politeness? Were they afraid I would get angry? Were they afraid I might ask them for help? How do you react when you see a friend of yours with dirty windows? What do you do? It's not an easy question.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Peace.</span></div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-41710103295454600082012-06-03T13:29:00.001-04:002012-06-03T13:38:59.401-04:00Planet of the...Apes?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><i><b>"Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death." from the Sacred Scrolls (Planet of the Apes)</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Believe it or not I have been thinking about Roddy McDowell as Cornelius reading from the scrolls in the movie in response to the news of that ghastly "zombie" attack in Florida. I only read a bit of the text of what occurred and couldn't bring myself to read more let alone investigate the You Tube video clip and photos. My God what have we come to?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">The attacker, shot dead by police, was apparently high on "bath salts" - sold in head shops as a new high. Individuals who actually bother to snort this nasty chemical combination experience a high that can end in fits of extreme paranoia and violence.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">I recall reading an article a year or so ago about two brothers on a boat in Florida who came across a plastic wrapped package of white powder floating on the lake. The one brother thought perhaps he had hit the mother load and snorted what he hoped was cocaine up his nose. Before long he was out of control, ripping the boat apart. He died a few hours later at the hospital.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">What does it say about these individuals that they would knowingly ingest chemical compounds into their bodies for the sake of some delirium? What does it say about us as a species?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">From what I understand, it is not uncommon to seek out "out of body" experiences - even in the animal kingdom. Little kids will spin in circles around and around just to experience the dizziness. Older children will climb onto amusement park rides that spin their bodies round and round and turn them upside down. Even older kids will drink alcohol or smoke marijuana, among other substances.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">In the animal world, birds and beasts of a variety of species will gorge themselves on fermenting berries and fruit, simply for the intoxicating qualities they possess.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">In the case of the "bath salts" or crystal meth - where chemical compounds are poisoning our bodies for the sake of a high - that is where I am baffled. If one was raised in most Christian denominations you were taught that the human body is a temple. Whether or not you believe in the Resurrection or life hereafter, you would have to agree that our bodies are very essential to life. Yet in so many ways we ransack that temple without a second thought to what we are destroying.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Isn't this also how we treat the planet?</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">For the sake of our highs (economic, comfort, excitement) we pollute and devastate the planet.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">One wonders if there is simply something wrong in our DNA. After all, is their really that much difference between one man high on bath salts, ripping the face off of another human with his teeth and a corporation high on profits, ripping apart the mountains of West Virginia for the sake of cheaper coal?</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Peace.</span></span></div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-84255401080899895302012-05-29T21:54:00.000-04:002012-05-29T21:54:34.854-04:00Not one. Not two.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am using a book by Sr. Joan Chittister as a daily meditation. Her book, The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century takes the Rule and breaks it down into daily chunks to which she adds some wonderful commentary. For example, below is the commentary to yesterday's selection.<br />
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<b><i>Benedict, whose whole way of life is steeped in the psalms, relies heavily on the psalms here to prove God's probing presence to the individual soul. God, Benedict says quite clearly, is within us to be realized, not outside of us to be stumbled upon. It is not a game of hide-and-seek we play in the spiritual life. It is simply a matter of opening our eyes to the light that drives out the darkness within us.</i></b><br />
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<b><i>"How does a person seek union with God?" the seeker asked.</i></b><br />
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<b><i>"The harder you seek," the teacher said, "the more distance you create between God and you."</i></b><br />
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<b><i>"So what does one do about the distance?"</i></b><br />
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<b><i>"Understand that it isn't there," the teacher said.</i></b><br />
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<b><i>"Does that mean that God and I are one?" the seeker said.</i></b><br />
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<b><i>"Not one. Not two."</i></b><br />
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<b><i>"How is that possible?" the seeker asked.</i></b><br />
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<b><i>"The sun and its light, the ocean and the wave, the singer and the song. Not one. Not two."</i></b><br />
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I find this tremendously comforting. Despite the "His eye is on the sparrow" mentality that tries to assure us that we are each the focus of God's undivided attention, the bottom line for me is that smacks of too much making God in our own image - as if God is some amazing multi-tasking, control freak. Whereas this emphasizes how we are all part of God, God is within and around us. God "knows" us because we are the body.<br />
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The examples are all the more fitting for their transient nature. The light, the wave, the song all dissipate in a moment as do we.RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-27806110153097644962012-05-29T18:52:00.001-04:002012-05-29T18:52:52.538-04:00"Love The Warrior, Hate The War"<br />
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This post originated as a comment on Mimi's blog. It got too long, however, and so I place my thoughts here instead. I can't remember how to make that link so just look over to the left there on the blog page.</div>
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Love the Warrior, Hate the War? Make me wince as much as the phrase it is playing with. With the exception, perhaps, of the marine corps...I wonder how many kids (and I DO mean kids) in the military would define themselves as a warrior. Soldier, sailor, zoomie (sorry I never could figure out what Air Force enlisted call themselves)but warrior I suspect would not be top of the list.</div>
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I responded to a comment thread on FB about saying "Thanks" to vets. I often forget that I am a veteran. I joined the Navy at 18 as a way to get out of the house on my own terms. It was peace time. It was the Navy. It was a big adventure. It also felt very normal and average. When folks have said "thanks" it reminds me that what I did at 18 was not normal and average. It was exceptional and I did it by choice. Not once in making my decision did I think "Yeah, Baby, I'm gonna be a Warrior!"</div>
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Which brings me back to that phrase. Yes, we continue to carry cultural guilt over how we treated our Vietnam Vets. The anti-war crowd, angry at the pro-war crowd forgot that most of the little guys were drafted. Further, they ignored the fact that many of the gung ho "Warriors" rapidly changed their minds after some time on the ground in Nam. Beyond that the pro-war folks had to deal with the fact that we lost. We went from the glory of WW II victory to the stale mate of Korea to the evacuation of Saigon.</div>
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Somewhere along the way, we decided that we shouldn't punish the kids who sign up - even in an alleged "volunteer" military. Yet, the power brokers seem to have turned Support the Troops into a modern version of America, Love It or Leave It. There is a strong sense among many that supporting our troops means shutting up and not criticizing the war effort.</div>
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I understand the spirit of "Love the Warriors" even if I don't exactly agree with it. For starters I would begin by eliminating the use of "Troops." Troops is too close to describing the human beings involved as if they were military hardware. In a way it is how we have sanitized the casualty reports. We say that so many troops were killed, rather than identifying them as so many marines, so many sailors, so many soldiers, etc. I believe part of how we got here has to do with the fact that the Pentagon didn't want us reminded of the fact that they placed sailors on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan...we might question why Navy personnel were being used in that capacity. Yet, the 3,000th casualty in Afghanistan was a sailor. Folks have argued that "Troops" just makes it simpler reporting the casualties. Why should it be simpler? Other than we don't want to look to closely at death. It makes the war go down easier.</div>
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After eliminating the euphemistic use of Troops, I would force the government to go back to calling it The War Department...who are we kidding but ourselves calling it the Defense Department? Iraq and Afghanistan were both scams as war. Need I remind you that Osama was found in Pakistan? One of our alleged allies. Need I remind you that 18 of the 19 terrorists on 9/11 were Saudis, another one of our allies.</div>
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Maybe if we could initiate changes like these, stop the spin and marketing of bloody, destructive war, we could bring an end to the need for a Memorial Day holiday.</div>
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<br />RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-39367276086916206422012-05-26T21:24:00.002-04:002012-05-26T21:24:59.012-04:00I'm Ba-a-a-ack...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As Elton John once sang, "The bitch is back..." Once I had given up on home internet access it became very difficult to blog on any kind of regular schedule. For the most part I prefer to spout off extemporaneously. I never could get used to creating posts on my lap top and then uploading them later.</div>
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Then I purchased a smart phone and had internet at home again, albeit it without a keyboard and on a very tiny screen. This too proved too much for my blogging skills.</div>
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However, I finally investigated on unused function on my phone - "3G Hotspot" - and stopped into the Verizon store today to see what the added cost would be. Turns out that for $20.00 a month I can now use my phone to create a wireless connection in my house and Bob's-Your-Uncle my lap top is ready to go and so am I.</div>
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Let's see...updates.</div>
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Health: I am almost completely weaned off the prednisone - down to 2 mg a day. Hopefully, the weight that I gained last summer will begin to slip off. I have a grossly swollen left forefinger. I am back now with the local rheumatologist and she concurs that my level of pain is better than advancing to the next level of treatment, which for me would involve preventative meds to avoid hepatitis. I use pain meds every night and can live with this level of disability. As there is a strong correlation between my autoimmune disease and inflammatory bowel disease I am now also seeing a GI doctor and he has scheduled my very first colonoscopy for July 2. I'm back to oral meds only in controlling the diabetes. </div>
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Work: All I will say is that the hospital has been sold and they are hammering out the deal. That is stressful but as this is a public blog I will not say any more about it.</div>
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Travel: I finally took a well needed vacation and did a 1500 mile road trip. I zipped over to Minnesota and visited with my good friend Lisa. I also bought some fat man clothes as I am too large these days to shop at the local stores. I highly recommend J.C. Penney's Big and Tall section and with the Ellen DeGeneres thang - they are the latest GLBT Corporate Heroes. From there I headed due south on US 63 all the way across Iowa and into Missouri where I had my very first Internet/Blog/Facebook meet up with my awesome cyber-Sistah Maria. I too was HER first house guest in her newly renovated space. From there I headed through Illinois and stopped over night at the folks' house to have a family birthday dinner on the first day of my Jubilee year (yes I will turn 50 next birthday). It was the first time the family was all together in quite awhile. I also got to meet my youngest niece for the first time. I took Frankie with me. I had a bit of a scare a month or so ago and want to have some quality time with him before he crosses the rainbow bridge.</div>
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Animals: Frankie is hanging in there - he'll be 15 in July. Skittles is doing great. Both of them have been started on Rimadyl though for arthritis pain. Not sure it's helping Skit though which leaves us wondering why she's not fully weight bearing on her left back leg. The other girls are doing fine. Abby the cat continues to hang in there despite her FLV diagnosis from over 16 months ago.</div>
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That's enough for now. I'll put up a link on Facebook but please tell your friends that Renzo is back.</div>
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Peace.</div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-10552533526710202632011-11-03T17:15:00.000-04:002011-11-03T17:20:17.724-04:00Will It Succeed?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was reading a transcription of the speech of Oct 6 made by Naoimi Klein to the Occupy Wall Street protest in this week’s Nation magazine when I was once again struck by waves of despair. OK, not anywhere near that dramatic. If you have been following reports on the OWS protests, you may know that electronic sound amplification equipment is forbidden (more on that later). In response, the protesters have been utilizing what they call the Human Microphone - the speaker shouts out their speech in small bits and the crowd repeats them in unison so that all might hear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">That said, Ms. Klein opens her speech with, “I love you.” She goes on to praise the protest, highlighting what she feels that have gotten right this time, separating it from the many “failed” protests of the past. She ends with, “Let’s treat this beautiful movement as if it is the most important thing in the world. Because it is. It really is.” (gag)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I really want to believe that we still have a chance to save this republic. I am highly doubtful that we can. What we are witnessing is a return to business as usual. After a post World War II aberration in which our economy flourished as we rebuilt the rest of world that was destroyed, we are returning to a capitalist status quo. For a generation or two there was enough trickle down cash to make significant improvements in the lives of the middle class. It didn’t take long, however, for the other nations to catch up and surpass us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We are left now with no real manufacturing base which means no real employment for our shrinking middle class. A friend of mine recently posted a pic on Facebook (she is a small business owner): “We offer three kinds of service: Good - Cheap - Fast You can pick any two. Good service Cheap won’t be Fast. Good service Fast won’t be Cheap. Fast service Cheap won’t be Good. Of course, we want it all - good, cheap, and fast. Corporations took their manufacturing overseas where labor is good, cheap, and fast, leaving our unemployed, formerly middle class workers in the dust - but, hey, we can still buy our stuff dirt cheap at WalMart et al.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This is why consumer capitalism has been so successful. It has allowed enough of the working class to rise up to the middle class and buy enough frills that we have turned a blind eye and allowed the rich to rob the system…truly trickle down economics at its best. Now we are starting to grumble and moan as we are forced to give up more and more of the frills and we see more and more of us sinking back down to a lower rung on the economic ladder.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Madpriest commented on a thread on his blog about wanting a society in which everyone is provided enough income to maintain a reasonable standard of living. However, that’s the rub. We in the West, even at our worst, are so far beyond where most of the Third World poor exist. I look at the people in my life - large homes, relatively cheap resources (water, electricity, etc.), multiple vehicles, multiple televisions, multiple computers, multiple bathrooms with indoor plumbing…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">For all the good intentions of the OWS protesters, they are still demanding a Western reasonable standard of living - something that has to be denied to the vast majority of the rest of the planet in order to continue. I don’t believe that we are really ready to redistribute wealth on a global scale. The lives of the middle class and much of the lower class would have to become much simpler.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In blog posts and articles about the protests, writers repeatedly feel the need to emphasize that they are not protesting success or luxury…one writer wrote (and I paraphrase) “It’s not like they expect us to live like the Amish.” Yet, that is exactly what needs to happen (IMHO).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Am I suggesting that they should all pack it up and go home? No. I am glad to see the 98% finally waking up from their slumber and calling for change. It is a beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">However, Naomi Klein also links the protests to Climate Change and this is another kettle of fish. She says, “The point is, today everyone can see that the system is deeply unjust and careening out of control. Unfettered greed has trashed the global economy. And it is trashing the natural world as well…What climate change means is that we have to do this on a deadline.” I am one of a quiet minority of people who upon reading the science has come to the conclusion that we’ve already missed the deadline.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Nothing we can do can reverse what has been set into motion. Nothing. The negative feedback loops are already in play. The arctic tundra is no longer frozen and is releasing thousands of years of built up green house gases into the atmosphere. The melting of the ice sheet is allowing direct sunlight to warm up the oceans - dark water absorbs the solar heat whereas the ice reflected it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Studies have suggested that even if we cut our carbon footprint down to zero it would take over fifty years for the planet to begin to recover. We can’t even get ourselves to a significant reduction in our carbon output, let alone bring it to zero.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Rather our politicians continue to argue over the cause of the climate change. We argue over what kind of light bulbs we should be using in our homes. We complain about expensive gasoline and high heating bills. We think that if we recycle all our Western consumer waste all will be well. Folks, we’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic (I LOVE that expression).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I don’t believe that we will necessarily suffer the consequences in the near future. Perhaps we won’t begin to really experience Baghdad in the Midwest until I’m old enough to miss the Social Security checks I used to think I’d have. The real beneficiaries of this will be our children and grandchildren. They will be the ones who have to grow old in the age of Soylent Green.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Folks will argue no doubt that “but we have to do something!” That is so classically liberal. We love nothing more than good theater to keep our denial going strong so we can get up in the morning and get out of bed. And so we slog our way through “airport security” when we travel believing that it is really keeping us safe. We carefully recycle the tons of garbage we generate purchasing are prepackaged, processed, so-called “food.” We dutifully buy those atrocious fluorescent bulbs. We do all those things so we don’t have to face the fact that the party is over.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And so I follow the protests and dream. For now the Corporate Powerbrokers will allow these protests to continue under carefully controlled conditions. Should they ever really begin to threaten the status quo they’ll be shut down right quick.</span></div>
</span>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-80858104583226336322011-10-20T17:24:00.003-04:002011-11-03T17:09:16.557-04:00One Of These Things...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As I sat down to write this post, my mind wandered a bit and reminded me of a completely unrelated episode that seems to fit hand and glove with what I intended to write. A few weeks back I was in Chicago for my 30th High School Class Reunion. I expanded the weekend into a full week so that I could visit with friends I haven't seen in quite awhile.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">A few weeks prior I contacted Carolyn with whom I've been friends for about twenty-three years. As it happened, one of the days I suggested we spend together was Rosh Hashana, so she nixed it up front. I thought about it, and in light of my recent reading and in recognition of the many years of our friendship, I suggested that I attend services with her if she didn't mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">She pointed out that it wouldn't be like a regular Friday night service. I asked how it would be different and she indicated it would be longer and with more singing. Sounded good to me. I explained how our Easter Vigil service can go on for hours.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was struck by the similarities more than the differences. This being one of the "big days" - like Christmas and Easter for Christian churches - they have to plan for three to four times the regular attendance. The members who had planned the service were watching to see that people were in the right places at the right time. Key readings from the Torah were shared. All in all I can say I enjoyed myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I must admit that I thought about the Holocaust. I looked around me at the hugh space filled with American Jews and wondered about their families, thought how in a different place and time they would be targeted for who they were. I sat there, quite possibly the lone goy, and thought about being the outsider. Much of the service was in Hebrew and the folks around me knew enought to at least be able to sing along regardless of whether or not they understood the exact meaning of the words. Later at the brunch afterwards one of Carolyn's friends explained, "It's just like for you when the church used Latin." I chose not to point out to her that in recent times only the Roman Church had used Latin in there service, but being raised Roman Catholic I figured she was close enough and I understood the point she was making.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The folks that had gathered for brunch were all members of this congregation. It was like sitting in on a Coffee Hour conversation where the movers and the shakers are gathered. They began to discuss ways in which to engage these extra folks who show up for the High Holy Days, get them to come around more often the rest of the year. They began joking about having special material for when both of the spouses were actually Jewish..."No, not to worry, your Jewish-Jewish marriage is welcome here...we're not all mixed marriages." Apparently they have a significant number of couples in which one of the couple is not Jewish. Perhaps then I was far from being the only Christian in the service earlier.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The other episode from my past that came to mind involved a day I spent on the far South Side of Chicago. I was working with this woman who had never ventured as far north in the city as she had to come to work at Children's Memorial Hospital in Lincoln Park. She had planned a barbecue at her house and I agreed to come on down. In fact, I agreed to come down early and help her get ready.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I took the train down from the Loop. She met me at the station and we ran some errands. The entire time I was the only caucasian. For the first time in my life I experienced how it felt to be the other, the outsider. It was an important experience that I have not forgotten.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I pause before typing this next bit...I feel the need to explain that it was a perfectly normal experience. I did not feel threatened. The folks around me were not hostile. Yet the very fact that I feel the need to explain this belies the subtle racism that permeates the dominant culture. Perhaps you think I'm being overly sensititve or overly politically correct.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When my mother was working on her PsyD she took a class on racial issues and psychotherapy. The course was taught by this awesome woman, Samella Abdullah. Early on in the quarter she announced a practical assignment. Each student was to go to a community event where they would be the outsider. They would then be expected to write about their experience.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My mother ended up talking to me about this assignment. I said, "Yeah? So what? She's not telling you to go to a Housing Project at midnight on a Saturday. Go to a church service or something."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">What we didn't realize then was that she expected the students to bring news of this assignment back to their friends and families. In the days that followed, she questioned the students to see who had done this and every last one of them had. She then asked about the responses they got from their friends and families. My mother was the only student in the class who reported that her family member wasn't shocked and thought it was no big deal. All the rest had horrified friends and family - "How can she make you do that? How can she put you in danger like that?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And so I pause as I acknowledge my need to explain that I was treated just like everyone else that day I visited the South Side. As if you wouldn't assume that that was exactly how things would be. I'm not sure how much of that is my own latent racism that I struggle with or an assumption of the same on the part of some of my readers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Samella also once said that she would take an outspoken, bigoted conservative any day over a typical white liberal. She felt that at least with the one she knew where she stood fromt he get go, whereas the liberal truly believes that he is not racist, unaware of all the subtle racism that permeates.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Wanting desperately to not be racist, understanding the evil of racism, doesn't cleanse us of it completely.</span></div>
<br />RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-84618720338428719142011-10-19T17:07:00.005-04:002011-11-03T17:10:53.365-04:00Jesus and Mo<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="http://www.jesusandmo.net/">Click here to go to Jesus and Mo web site...</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">I</span> had the pleasure of actually sitting down and visiting with a cyber friend who I only knew tangentially in high school. We visited for a bit at our 30th reunion a few weeks back. He asked what I was up to and I mentioned that I was reading <u>The Source</u> by James Michener. He then said, "Why?!?" </span><a href="http://russellburgos.com/"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Russ</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> is a Political Scientist who specializes in the Middle East. He was clearly not impressed that I would be reading this less than scholarly work of historical fiction. I was quick to respond with the other related titles I was also reading and explained that Michener's book was like an outline to point me in other directions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><u>The Source</u> tells the history of this small local in northern Israel. For once he doesn't start with dinosaurs and early animals, but begins the ancient history (9000 BCE) with human characters. The book then follows this locale in typical Michener fashion through many eras where descendents of the original characters live out their lives. What follows is a nicely laid out history of the various battles for the land - Asyrians, Babylonians, Romans, Byzantines, Crusaders, Islamic Turks, etc. The town is rebuilt and destroyed over and over again. The residents are butchered or exiled or sold into slavery time and again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Recently on OCICBW, Jonathan AKA Mad Priest made some strong statements about Islam. It is clear from his argument that he sees a strong historical connection with war fare that is inherent in Islam from the beginning. In particular, he cites the devastation of the Eastern Christians as an essential example of this connection.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To what extent I will ultimately agree or disagree with Jonathan will be dependent on further reading. However, what I have seen so far tells me that all the major powers wrought significant destruction upon the residents of what ultimately became the State of Israel as they sought control of the territory.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Each group dragged its religion along with its army and imposed this religion to varying degrees on the local survivors. Quite often the Hebrews paid the stiffest price. This alone indicates that the warfaring violence of Islam is not unique for this period of history.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Both Michener's book and <u>The First Crusade</u> by Thomas Asbridge show in graphic detail the horror of what became known as the First Holocaust as tens of thousands of European Jews were butchered by the Crusaders heading off to the Holy Lands to fight the infidels. Once in Islamic territory the crusaders frequently murdered other Christians because of how they were dressed and their physical characteristics - they assumed they were Muslims.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">If we are to condemn Islam for the actions of it's Holy Armies, it would seem that we should also condemn Christianity - both Western and Eastern. However, as I said, I have much reading to do before I come to a more solid conclusion.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Yes, Mohammed began to gather up converts to his new understanding of the monotheistic faith in Mecca, and once he was exiled to the city that became Medina, he fought valiantly with his growing army to centralize his power and the power of what was to become Islam.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Jesus had no army. I understand that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">However, neither man sought to invent a new religion. Jesus of Nazareth sought to introduce Judaism 2.0. It was only after his death that it was eventually rebranded as Christianity 1.0. Similary, Mohammed thought he was selling folks on Monotheism 3.0 initially - for in Islam both Jews and Christians are held in higher esteem than mere pagans as being Children of the Book and descended from Abraham. Mohammed believed that they had gone astray and his revelations were to purify the traditional, historic monotheistic faith.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Of course, Christianity was not a significant political power in the Mediterranean region until Constantine decided to name it the offical religion of the Empire. Christianity went from persecuted and powerless to top dog overnight. Yet that power shrunk significantly with the collapse of the Roman Empire and the invasion of the barbarian (pagan) hordes. Over time those peoples were converted to Christianity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As Pope Urban II sought to consolidate power in Rome with the Papacy, he responded to a request for help from Byzantium with the call for the first Crusade. The ruling class, knights and such, existed in a political reality that called for repeated violations of their Christian faith. The near constant warring and killing and fighting created a powerful dilemna for these men. The Pope's call in which the act of crusading would grant them penance and allow them to go straight to heaven. An entire generation of nobility stopped their internecine European conflict and channeled all that violent energy on the Holy Lands and the infidel. Political power and religion finally merged for Christianity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mohammed, on the other hand, needed to carve out territory from the beginning so the presence of stories of conquest and military victory in Islamic history is not surprising. There was no Emperor ready to convert his Empire over with the single stroke of a pen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As Islam flourished as a political power, the role of Caliph served as head of state. This is not that different from the Orthodox Church where the Emperor of Byzantium was the head of the church. Even in the Roman West, the struggle between kings and the Pope for ultimate power was played out over and over.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Jonathan has made it a key point that "Islam" depended on violent conquest from the beginning. I find it hard not to separate the church from the state... My reading so far has also shown that overall Islamic Overlords were much more tolerant of the existance of other faith traditions in their lands than were the Chrisians. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Just last night as I read a few more chapters in <u>A Case for God</u> by Karen Armstrong, I learned about the forced conversions of the Jews by Isabella and Ferdinand. Many chose exile to Portugal, until Isabella and Ferdinand forced Portugal to do the same. Then, with the creation of the Spanish Inquisition, those same converted Jews were suspect because they were forced...nice logic that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">All this is not to deny that there is a dangerous, fundamentalist form of Islam out there. I am not willing, however, to condemn the entire faith until I have done my homework. Peace.</span></div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-24791250758676313182011-10-18T17:40:00.000-04:002011-10-18T17:41:16.470-04:00Wrong Way?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I</span> felt like I had so much to say yesterday after not blogging for so long. I want to spend a bit more time on this <em>wrong worship vs. wrong God</em> idea. I briefly reference the Nicene Creed in which we state the "We believe in one God..." It is quite common amongst many Christians to acknowledge that we are all talking about the same God, particularly amongst the Children of the Book - the three main Abrahamic faiths, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. A goodly number of us would argue that even the other faiths of the world are all pointing to the same divine essense - the words we use, the traditions we follow, the way we pray, may seem different but that "all roads lead to God."</div>
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Yes, there are some fundamentalist and evangelical folk who take a very literal only through Christ hard line. It is likely that there are fundamentalists in most faiths who believe that they alone are right. These are the folks who would argue WRONG GOD over what I am calling Wrong Worship.</div>
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I am not suggesting that Wrong Worship means "incorrect worship." Perhaps it might be better to think of it as wrong for us...or in the case of the Ancient Hebrews, wrong for the Jews of YHWH.</div>
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Those Canaanite Gods, Ba'al in particular, were still a group of humanity trying to understand the divine - the great, all encompassing Being - and how that Being interacted with them where they were. Even the Canaanites though, imagined a greater, more removed abstract God, the Prime Mover, the Creator - they called this God "El." Ba'al was the God who was closer to home as it were. Not exactly an "Incarnation" but God reaching out and touching them. The God who lived in the place with them.</div>
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The Ancient Hebrews also struggled with this - understanding the greater Being (YHWH) and understanding how that Being comes down to interact with us in our limited physical lives. The Exodus reading this past Sunday concerned Moses arguing with God about staying with the Hebrews and making his presence known. YHWH agrees to stay close but essentially tells Moses that at best humanity will only see the vapor trail of God's presence...his backside as it were...that will be the closest they will be to seeing God. Besides he tells them that to look on the face of God would be more than their frail human bodies could handle.</div>
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Even in Christianity, as we struggle to understand the Trinity, we are essentially struggling with understanding the divine Being (God the Father) and how God interacts with us here in the mere physical realm (God the Son)...however, rather than a monolith housed pagan God or a vapor trail of YHWH we got Jesus of Nazareth, the Christ and the Holy Spirit.</div>
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The chapter I am currently working through in Karen Armstrong's book, <u>The Case for God</u>, has opened my eyes. We are not meant to understand the Trinity, it is a paradox to meditate upon. As we sit in church and say our communal prayers, we are to remind ourselves continuously of the inability of mere human words to adequately express what God is. All those times we trip up on phrases where we feel need to cross our fingers or simply stop and let others say the words because we slip into a too literal mode of thinking. Those are the very moments when we can remind ourselves of the inadequacy of our words...and the silence that follows is a recognition of the divine within us.</div>
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In fact, that one tricky word in the Nicene Creed -- Believe -- didn't used to mean what we say it means. I believe the Latin word is <em>credere</em> and "believe" is a weak translation. A more appropriate definition that doesn't appear to mean "take as the literal Truth" is apparently along the lines of trust or put myself in trust of...we trust that their is one God, we put ourselves in the the trust that there is one Lord, Jesus Christ... This wording isn't about swearing on the Bible that this is the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth...it's a subtle difference, and, remember, we're not meant to understand the Trinity...it's a paradox that reminds us of our inability to adequately express in mere words what we are not able to understand.</div>
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Just like the God of Exodus telling Moses that we mere humans cannot survive looking onto the face of God, (to quote Jack Nicholson/Tom Cruise: You want answers?/I want the truth/You can't handle the truth!) Or as a posted on Facebook as a status update, quoting from <u>The Case for God</u>, "...get beyond simplistically anthropomorphic ideas of God and experience the divine as a transcendent presence within." Peace.</div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-11872920967307788452011-10-17T14:09:00.000-04:002011-10-18T16:37:44.342-04:00A New Beginning<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSqaoJ30z_k5Zpe1f2qFjSd0Tqh8UpB__4UMmo1CUa2hM7kw2-LYhyiptiwhCiW8Kq1UaJZUF2LSOqkDtH9P1wPdaSb0JA0RNZJSmEswaVVF7hV2E6WeWPUyK9fT73BPm9daBDL71bKd8/s1600/moses.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664514642861727010" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSqaoJ30z_k5Zpe1f2qFjSd0Tqh8UpB__4UMmo1CUa2hM7kw2-LYhyiptiwhCiW8Kq1UaJZUF2LSOqkDtH9P1wPdaSb0JA0RNZJSmEswaVVF7hV2E6WeWPUyK9fT73BPm9daBDL71bKd8/s400/moses.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 221px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial;">If you are at all familiar with the Old Testament, I want you to think a moment about the various tribes of people encountered by the Ancient Hebrews. This is my question…when you think about these other tribes do you think they have the wrong God or the wrong way of worshiping God? This is what you, living in the 21st Century, think - not what they or the Ancient Hebrews thought, nor what the writers of the Old Testament thought.<br /><br />Mad Priest posted the following at <a href="http://revjph.blogspot.com/2011/10/madpriests-thought-for-day_11.html">OCICBW</a> regarding the Jews and YHWH. I started seeing these comments from liberal minded folks who leapt right into criticism of how God “WAS” back then. I realized that otherwise sensible, progressive minded folk were taking a rather literal view of things. How do we get from understanding that much of Genesis is better understood as mythology than as history to judging God by how YHWH is presented in later Old Testament stories? --stories composed and eventually written down and then revised by divinely inspired men trying to understand their relationship to YHWH and express that relationship with the limitation of human words.<br /><br />It was while thinking about this that I formulated my question. I believe we have been encouraged to think that they had the wrong God. For example, remember the “Golden Calf” from The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston? Most of us would describe that scene, and the portion of the story it represents, as follows: Moses is gone up on the mountain for a long time and the wandering Hebrews begin to get twitchy, eventually losing control, gathering up their gold and forging a sacred cow to worship in place of YHWH (I.e., the wrong God). This cow god allows for them to act like they’re at a frat party - at least in the movie. In the end, there’s Hell to pay…<br /><br />However, I believe that those confused Hebrews as well as the other tribes were not following the wrong God but, rather, were wrong in their style of worship.<br /><br />I am working my way through a <em>Great Courses</em> series on the “Old Testament,” taught by Professor A.J. Levine. She explains that all the other religions of the time saw their Gods as being very much connected to place. They believed strongly in monoliths that marked sacred mountains or locations where their Gods resided. The Ancient Hebrews, however, believed that YHWH was always everywhere with them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial;">Professor Levine suggests that what really occurs while Moses is up the mountain is that the people begin to get anxious and question this new way of thinking about the presence of God. In creating the Golden Calf they are not making up some <em>new</em> deity so they can have a big drunken orgy and to hell with Moses and YHWY. Rather they are reverting to an older way of worship - they lose faith in what they have been doing and create an idol in which their God can be satisfied and come down and live with them in a physical place like the other tribes’ Gods.<br /><br />Once I heard it expressed this way, the entire Golden Calf episode made much more sense to me. Further, I believe the issue is wrong worship, not wrong God. After all, every Sunday we recite, "We believe in one God..."<br /><br />And with that thought, I reintroduce my blog. I have hinted over the past few months that I want to use my blog as a tool to mark my spiritual journey. To that end I have been reading and gathering up future reading (fancy way of saying “bought more unread books”). I am inspired by cyber friends who blog with a spiritual focus. I also have a desire to flesh out this secular monasticm - this hermit lifestyle - I value so much. Part of my future studies will include a better understanding of <u>The Rule of St. Benedict</u> in the hope of writing my own “Rule” for my Hermitage.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.brojohnbc.blogspot.com/">Brother John</a></span><span style="font-family: arial;"> up in British Columbia is a brother with the Community of St. Aidan of Lindisfarne and his new home in a more rural section of Vancouver Island has been named St. Cuthbert’s Cottage by his Order. Perhaps some day I will christen my log home with a similar new name.<br /><br />I purchased <u>The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century</u> by Joan Chittister as a promising introduction to the Rule.<br /><br />Late in the Summer I read <u>Mary Called Magdalene</u> by Margaret George. I had picked up this copy from the $2 rack at my local bookstore. They wheel out this old style library cart in front of the shop every day and it holds what can be called “less than remaindered homeless” books. Yet two of the more interesting books I’ve read recently came off that rack, and now too my cyber sistah Maria has picked up a copy of <u>God Among The Shakers</u> upon my recommendation (it speaks to our mutual secular monasticm).<br /><br />Margaret George’s book, more than anything, forced me to think about how all the main characters from the Gospels were Jews. We get so caught up in our Christianity sometimes that we minimize or forget about Jesus’ Jewish faith. We have blamed the Jews for crucifying Christ - as if he was this Christian outsider.<br /><br />There was significant overlap between Judaism and the early church - for many years Christianity was looked about as a sect of Judaism. All this ruminating over our deep connection guided my reading. I finally dusted off my copy of <u>The Source</u> by Michener, as well as cracked open a few other titles that have been patiently waiting on my shelves for a number of years now: <u>The Gift of the Jews</u> by Thomas Cahill, <u>The First Crusade</u>, and <u>The Oxford History of Byzantium</u> in particular.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial;">Well, I suppose this is long enough, and it has sat on my computer waiting for me to find some wireless zone to actually post. I look forward to reading your comments. Peace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">UPDATE: It's so much harder to edit on the fly. My apologies to Brother John, but now the post reflects the correct info.</span></div>
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</div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-37418427486755808342011-08-04T22:17:00.002-04:002011-08-04T22:38:02.231-04:00Last Day<div style="text-align: justify;">I had my follow up appointment with the doctor today to review the lab work and x-ray. The other testing was negative - no Lupus, no Rheumatoid. I have the genetic marker B27 which is consistent with the Spondylitis diseases. My brother also has this marker. My diagnosis is Undifferentiated Spondyloarthropathy. After two plus years of questions, I finally have a diagnosis and a treatment plan.<br /><br />Prayers can continue as I now need to wean off the prednisone over the next six weeks. If all goes well, the pain will not recur and will be controlled with my new medication - methotrexate. All the swelling and moon faced crap should recede. My blood glucose should improve and I should be able to get off the mega amounts of insulin I am presently requiring. Hopefully some of the weight I've gained back will also drop off. The doctor even indicated that I may not need to remain on the methotrexate if the pain eventually goes into a remission, but that would likely be some time down the road.<br /><br />Fortunately methotrexate is relatively inexpensive and has a generic version. I do not have good drug benefits even though I work in health care.<br /><br />The rest of the day was wonderful. Just got back from a messy cheeseburger dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Packing up my belongings for an early start to head home in the morning. Peace.<br /></div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-70014699491592988642011-08-03T18:52:00.002-04:002011-08-03T18:56:27.587-04:00Day Of Rest II<div style="text-align: justify;">As I do not have to return to the doc until tomorrow, today ended up being another day of rest. Once I realized that I had been up from 4AM until past midnight, it made sense. The humidity was down significantly and Lisa had a plumber coming to fix the water problem so it was just as well. I spent the day reading and relaxing. I managed to take Frankie for a short walk.<br /><br />I started on the new medication today - methotrexate. I will take it once a week. As of now, I am feeling a bit "off" but it could just be that I am very relaxed and a bit hungry waiting for Lisa to get back from an errand so we can go to dinner.<br /><br />Indian food again tonight - would be so nice if we had a restaurant in Marquette - it's my favorite ethnic food. After dinner, off to see the final Harry Potter in a nice big, modern theater - also something lacking at home.<br /><br />Tomorrow's appointment is at 3PM. My visit will wind down to a close and I will gladly head home on Friday. It is a nice break to deal with a single dog instead of the whole pack but I do miss the girls. Peace.<br /></div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-46078515608857598872011-08-02T14:10:00.002-04:002011-08-02T14:37:25.315-04:00And It Looks Like We Have A Winner...<div style="text-align: justify;">So the day started out very strangely... I awoke to use the bathroom for the third time at around 4AM local time (I've been waking up between 5 and 6 AM at home lately so no big surprise). I figured I relieve myself and go lay down again for another hour or so only to find Lisa up on the sofa in a panic because she had water pouring from the ceiling in the basement.<br /><br />Careful assessment of the situation lead me to believe that something was up with her central air. I got on line and learned all about evaporators and such and once we had some idea of what was likely occurring she began to calm down but we were up for the duration at that point.<br /><br />So we hung out until about quarter to seven before heading over to Mayo for my "7:30 AM check in." While waiting the gal at the desk went over to talk with this lady. All HIPPA regs aside, we were able to eavesdrop and I'm hearing her tell the lady that she could come back on Thursday but they were all full today. Both Lisa and I were worried that I'd get the same spiel as an add on to the schedule. However, my situation proved to be very different than hers.<br /><br />The gal explained to me that I needed to just sit tight and see if there were any cancellations and that there was a physician ready to see me this morning if there were no cancellations. I settled in to complete the information they needed and then began to read. I was actually called back within the hour.<br /><br />The doctor was a very nice, clearly knowledgeable, older American doctor (truth be told, he could have been Canadian). Nothing against foreign trained doctors, but culturally it was comforting to be able to just be myself and be understood. He reviewed my medical records, listened to my history, asked some pointed questions and essentially came to a diagnosis there on the spot.<br /><br />My one younger brother has been living with an auto immune disease for many years now. He has <b>Ankylosing spondylitis</b>. I'm not going to do any fancy links on this post so you will have to Google it yourself. This particular brother and I over the years have often been mistaken for twins despite a six year age difference so it comes as no surprise that we are having similar medical issues.<br /><br />In any case, his illness tends to focus more on his spine. According the the doctor, he believes that I have a variant of spondylitis though in my case it is affecting the extremities and the connective tissue at the joints rather than the joints themselves. Apparently there is a genetic marker for the AS and we are testing to see if I have that. We are also testing once again for Rheumatoid and Lupus. Apparently most Lupus testing in the country right now is fairly worthless, so there is a small chance that my previous tests were false negatives. However, he thinks that with my brother's illness his first diagnosis is likely the correct one.<br /><br />Those of you who have asked if this is good news or bad, with the presence of hand and foot pain, there were three likely major illnesses that I could have been stricken with - Lupus, Rheumatoid, or Scleroderma. None of these illnesses were a good match to my symptoms and none would have been very nice to have to deal with long term.<br /><br />The present treatment plan he is prescribing will involve a rapid wean off the prednisone over the next six weeks and begin on weekly methotrexate tomorrow. The long term issues with methotrexate therapy have included liver issues. However, they have apparently learned that the real issue is fatty liver issues in conjunction with the med. Monitoring the fatty liver situation apparently is addressing the traditional complications. This is not a bad long term prognosis considering some of the other illnesses.<br /><br />Lisa and I were living the premises by noon. After two plus years of this, I had an answer within three hours more or less. He indicated I could head home today. I explained that I was prepared to stay the week so he scheduled me in for a follow up on Thursday so we could go over the results of the lab work. I should be heading home to Michigan then early on Friday.<br /><br />I am feeling a profound sense of relief. For over two years the doctors all wanted to lump this on the doorstep of the diabetes. For over two years I put up with chronic low grade pain and loss of function in my hands because the local rheumatologist agreed with this assessent. To his credit the Mayo physician explained that their response was not completely out of line given that men who present with a sudden high out of range glucose level can have significant pain issues with their hands similar to my symptoms. Where he breaks with them is that those symptoms do not respond to steroids and I had two episodes where the symptoms had completely resolved with steroids over the past two summers. For him that would have indicated something else was going on.<br /><br />Thank you all for your prayers and concerns. I will still need them now as I wean off the prednisone, something that I fear will be a bit of an emotional roller coaster as my adrenal glands are dragged kicking and screaming back into play. I will be so glad to have my sugar levels get back under control so I can eat the occasional ice cream. If I am brave I will take and post a photo that shows just how puffed up I am right now so as it disperses I can see the difference.<br /><br />Tomorrow will be another day of rest. Lisa and I have plans still to see the final Harry Potter movie, go have a good steak dinner, eat Indian at least one more time, and now just enjoy our visit. The A/C repair man will be here either later today or tomorrow but in the mean time she has a window unit in that is keeping the house cool. Peace and love to you all.<br /></div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5699399021590283447.post-28414423998803541612011-08-01T23:25:00.002-04:002011-08-01T23:30:37.533-04:00Day Of Rest<div style="text-align: justify;">Given the change in time zones I was awake at 4:30 AM. Crept around until Lisa woke up - thankfully she leaves for work before 6AM. Eventually made it back to bed and slept in for a few hours. That essentially set the tone for the day. Heat index here above 100. No real desire to prowl, shop, etc. so I essentially stayed in bed all day. I would get up and nibble in the kitchen, read and doze. I think I needed the rest. The house has been nice and cool and Frankie has been good company.<br /><br />I would take him out to the back yard and just feel wiped out from 10 minutes of this humidity. I am simply not used to it anymore having lived up north for thirteen years. Late in the day a front passed through and lessened the heat and humidity. Hopefully, it will stay milder now. My appointment begins at 7:30 in Rheumatology where I will pick up a pager.<br /><br />Dinner tonight was sushi! The joys of a bigger city mainly involve food. Now I'm just relaxing - all those naps will probably keep me up for awhile. Peace.<br /></div>RENZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981050766307343246noreply@blogger.com0