My recent status updates on Facebook have provoked a variety of responses, as well as a couple of messages--a few thumbs ups, some "I understand stand"s, some concerned questions...
Somewhere I wrote that recently nothing seems to fit right - my job, my home, my body, my life. I am left uninspired and mildly irritated most of the time.
The hospital continues to come up with new and wonderful ways to demonstrate how much we are appreciated as employees. They gave us a whopping 2% raise last month - the first in a couple years. However, immediately following that surprising announcement they came up with some wonderful cuts in benefits. For example, my current job requires that I be on call 1/2 of the time - that would be six months of the year basically. What made that tolerable was that we were given a minimum of two hours time and a half call back if we had to work beyond our shift or were called in on the weekend, further we were paid door to door.
That's gone now - they have eliminated call back and now will only pay straight time, not door to door, but will pay a minimum of 2 hours. As for having to stay late, that's just straight pay, real time now. Further, they changed my status so that I don't get overtime until I've worked 40 hours in a week. As I'm scheduled to work 32 that means I could stay after work for another 8 hour shift and still only be paid straight time.
This is how you are rewarded in this brave new world.
As much as I love my house, the cost and upkeep ensure I am a slave to my employment. Yes, it is a beautiful log home - but it is also a big trap. There really are no other employment opportunities in the U.P. so my house is part of the siren song that keeps me gritting my teeth and putting up with treatment at the hands of management.
For the few of you who haven't noticed, health care in this country isn't what it used to be and the same can be said for working in health care.
Which leads me to the point of all this. I am tempted to sell it all, give away what I can't sell and see what's left in my pocket at the end of the day. Hopefully there will be enough to purchase a camper or a motor home and then I can hit the road and see where life takes me or maybe to become a novice in a monastic order in Canada.
The rabbits and fish would definitely have to go and possibly some of the dogs, or maybe not, I don't know if I could part with any of them.
I know this much - I have a job interview at the hospital next week - it is full time (which sucks) but has no call and no weekends. I'm sure that it is mine for the taking. I'm fed up enough with my current position that I just might make that change.
I will also spend the better part of the next week or so checking out other places around the country - Juneau? Billings? Cheyenne? Portland? Fairbanks? I would consider taking a nursing job to get settled but make sure that my living situation is as cheap as possible so I could give up health care for good in a year or two.
That, my friends, is an attempt at explaining what is going on. Kate asked if I'm ok - and I suppose I am - but I am feeling very unsettled. Thanks for all the love.
Somewhere I wrote that recently nothing seems to fit right - my job, my home, my body, my life. I am left uninspired and mildly irritated most of the time.
The hospital continues to come up with new and wonderful ways to demonstrate how much we are appreciated as employees. They gave us a whopping 2% raise last month - the first in a couple years. However, immediately following that surprising announcement they came up with some wonderful cuts in benefits. For example, my current job requires that I be on call 1/2 of the time - that would be six months of the year basically. What made that tolerable was that we were given a minimum of two hours time and a half call back if we had to work beyond our shift or were called in on the weekend, further we were paid door to door.
That's gone now - they have eliminated call back and now will only pay straight time, not door to door, but will pay a minimum of 2 hours. As for having to stay late, that's just straight pay, real time now. Further, they changed my status so that I don't get overtime until I've worked 40 hours in a week. As I'm scheduled to work 32 that means I could stay after work for another 8 hour shift and still only be paid straight time.
This is how you are rewarded in this brave new world.
As much as I love my house, the cost and upkeep ensure I am a slave to my employment. Yes, it is a beautiful log home - but it is also a big trap. There really are no other employment opportunities in the U.P. so my house is part of the siren song that keeps me gritting my teeth and putting up with treatment at the hands of management.
For the few of you who haven't noticed, health care in this country isn't what it used to be and the same can be said for working in health care.
Which leads me to the point of all this. I am tempted to sell it all, give away what I can't sell and see what's left in my pocket at the end of the day. Hopefully there will be enough to purchase a camper or a motor home and then I can hit the road and see where life takes me or maybe to become a novice in a monastic order in Canada.
The rabbits and fish would definitely have to go and possibly some of the dogs, or maybe not, I don't know if I could part with any of them.
I know this much - I have a job interview at the hospital next week - it is full time (which sucks) but has no call and no weekends. I'm sure that it is mine for the taking. I'm fed up enough with my current position that I just might make that change.
I will also spend the better part of the next week or so checking out other places around the country - Juneau? Billings? Cheyenne? Portland? Fairbanks? I would consider taking a nursing job to get settled but make sure that my living situation is as cheap as possible so I could give up health care for good in a year or two.
That, my friends, is an attempt at explaining what is going on. Kate asked if I'm ok - and I suppose I am - but I am feeling very unsettled. Thanks for all the love.
8 comments:
A good way to make a bad decision is to make it in haste and while upset.
I bailed from the addiction treatment unit at a small private hospital in Chicago (Martha Washington, at Irving and Western, if you remember back that far).
This was in 1990, when then-new Managed Care destroyed inpatient treatment for addiction. The hospital lived almost a whole year after I split, about twice as long as I expected.
So I can relate. I wound up at what turned out to be my life's work, where I am now, in the Cook County Court system. Go figure.
We're in a recession, and employers everywhere are treating loyal employees like feces. It's unreasonable to expect good treatment from good companies, cuz they don't have it to give; and it's always unreasonable to expect good treatment from bad employers.
(This is why everybody needs a UNION! Not incidentally.)
In the UP, how much more so - place hasn't had any money in 40 years.
So hang it up if you like, or not, or just be with the stuckness awhile.
But don't be hasty, and don't be short-sighted. And don't be unfaithful: consult with the Holy Spirit on this one.
/Scott
Wow! Thanks, Scott. I almost moved to Alaska 4 years ago. Had an interview lined up in Fairbanks but bought this house instead.
Yes, I am frustrated right now - but this has actually been brewing for awhile.
I don't know what I will do beyond interview for the other job next week. I am sorely tempted though to sell off a bunch of the "stuff" put the house on the market and take it from there.
One benefit of having a nursing license is that I'm marketable.
I really appreciated the long comment though - thanks, it really did mean a lot in my present mood.
I think some of the problem is you might be feeling like you have to sit still...for everything.
I hate to say it, but the answer is probably "keep sitting still till the answer hits you like a 2x4."
Meanwhile, you could come visit NE Missouri, where the economy is also depressed, but it truly is one of the cheapest places to live. (wink)
No matter what you do, eventually it will all end up the same.
Once I stopped moving I understood that, but now I'm so burned out I really don't care.
You know I worked for unions most of my career. The best advice: Go union. Otherwise you'll get shit on. Even if you are a priest or monk. They get it too. What about bank robbing?:) Jack
I did it. I sold my house in Denver and most of the furniture, etc -- stored the rest in a warehouse (a building from my sister's former business), bought a travel trailer and my (then) boyfriend (now my husband) and I traveled around the country on and off for a few years. We worked some (at Esalen Institute for a few months, Dale's cousin's blueberry farm, care-giving for my Mom, etc). It was great but had some problems too, such as losing much of what I made in selling the house in investments (we started this journey in Sept. of 2001). The trip --- the memories --- were mostly worth it, but I'd do things differently now.
I thought I was leaving teaching forever. Or at least thought I'd do something out of the classroom. But when it came down to us running out of money, I ended up back in teaching again. I'm glad we relocated nearer my family, but really miss not only a few specific friends from Denver, but in terms of my professional career, I definitely had many more connections there. I've had to start building those connections all over again in order to move towards what I eventually want to do in the field.
Would I recommend selling it all and doing something different? I guess it all depends on your support network, your financial ability to actually pull it off (carry health insurance, etc), and your openness to take whatever opportunities open themselves to you (is that easy or hard as a "hermit"?). Dale & I maintained a "home-base" at my sister' place --- the place we thought we'd eventually like to settle (& did eventually do so). But my sister & her husband were more than just a home-base; they, and the healing land they live on, were more of an anchor for us that we returned to when things got rough.
I don't know if this story is helpful or not. Ask questions of other people who've done it (selling it all and moving on), and find out the many unique ways they made it happen and even more unique ways it turned out.
There's a book I read when we first started out on our journey (gifted to me by one of those dear friends in Denver): "This Time I Dance: Trusting the Journey of Creating the Work You Love" by Tama J. Kieves. It was absolutely inspiring!
As I type this comment, I realize that I am still on that journey, or perhaps returning to it. And actually, your blog has had a bit of an effect on it. But that's another story for another time.
Wishing you inspiration for either going or finding a way to stay,
Carolyn
I feel for you. If it doesn't sound presumptuous I understand how you feel.
Have you thought of abroad? Come to the UK and see universal health care free at the point of access.
DP I would LOVE to emigrate to the UK - just don't know how to go about it. I've also thought of Canada.
Carolyn - your piece was very helpful to where I'm at at the moment. I will follow through with the job interview on Thursday and see if that is what makes sense. If not my boss is willing to let me flex my current situation a bit but not sure if that is really a fix or not.
I'll keep you all posted along the way.
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