Who Do You See? What Do You See? Why?

Has anyone you've thought you really knew well ever done something that really shocked you? Something that caused you to doubt your total under-standing of who he or she really was? I've been thinking lately about how we relate to and understand each other. You may recall that in the post below, I asked you to think about what comes to mind when you see an image of Michael Jackson. What about Madonna? How about Marilyn Monroe or Marilyn Manson?

There is an anecdotal story about Norma Jean Baker (AKA Marilyn) in which she was walking down the street of New York in schleppy jeans and baggy sweatshirt, scarf and sun- glasses and no one was paying her any mind. The writer or journalist that was walking with her was discussing her famous persona. She said, "Do you want to see her?" -- just like that in the third person. The gentleman recalls that it was like flipping a switch and she became "Marilyn" and within moments folks were stopping, pointing, and asking for autographs.

It seems to me that quite often we don't really see people so much as we see symbols. A symbol is "an act, sound, or object having cultural significance and the capacity to excite or objectify a response," according to Merriam-Webster. For example, take the two magazine covers at the top of this post. The first was the New Yorker cover that prompted a significant outcry and the second is the Nation cover that parodied the first. There are many people in our country who can look at a television image of any of those four individuals and will still see the caricature from the magazine covers. In other words, when we see an image of President Obama or Governor Palin we don't really see the man or the woman -- we see a symbol.

What started me off on this idea was the on going selection of a new bishop for the Episcopal Diocese of Northern Michigan. At this point it looks as though the bishop-elect will not receive the necessary consents from either the House of Bishops or the Standing Committees. Having worked directly with the man, I have my personal reasons for how I stand on this issue. I have followed the blogs closely and commented where I felt I needed to comment. I have sent personal e-mails and even blogged here as well. In the end I hold to my belief that for most of the people out there, the bishop-elect is a symbol, not an individual.

I think it is much easier to grasp this concept when we are dealing with people who really exist in an abstract way for us. We don't get to sit down and have coffee with Madge (AKA Madonna) and start to know the woman behind the marketed persona. Even those who knew John McCain well stated they didn't recognize the man on the campaign trail.

What really started to make my wheels spin though was to bring it all closer to home. I think we see symbols more often than people even in our day to day lives. Our brains are wired to receive stimuli, track the learned associations, and recognize/name what is before us. Over time we learn to ascribe expected behaviors or traits. For example, look at this picture below.

If this little critter was right before you and you leaned down to pet him and his lips curled back and he began to snarl and try to take a chunk out of your hand you would be completely startled and surprised. What you saw was a symbol of cute, sweet puppy - the real animal turned out to be a bit different.

So what's the point of this whole ramble? Well, as usual, I am thinking about how we co-exist. I try to understand the barriers to understanding and subsequently to love. I think that part of the secret of getting beyond seeing symbols begins with self awareness. If we don't really know ourselves, how can we know others? If we don't understand our emotional reactions under stress, it is understandable how we often misinterpret or misunderstand reactions in others.

For Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...For if you (only) love those who love you what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?" I used to have a lot of difficulty understanding this concept. I now believe that it's really about reaching across that which divides us to seek common ground. This is very hard to do if you're only seeing symbols.

We don't have to be completely self aware before we can begin to see beyond symbols. We can start by just being aware. Peace.