The last few days have dealt me an emotional body blow, and I'm not talking about the $8000 I've had to put into the house and car over the past 10 days. I'm talking about the weather. I try to be very aware of myself - I'm not sure if that is in direct relation to my tendency towards anxiety and depression or because I often drift into obsessive/compulsive thinking.
For example, I've learned that if I let myself get dehydrated over the course of the day I feel much more tired in the afternoon than if I've been drinking water throughout. When I'm overly tired, I feel blue, more so than at other times. My physical self affects my emotional self - much more than I ever would have thought.
I've trained myself to do a quick check when I start to feel pissy, tired, sad, or downright angry. Have I eaten? Have I only been drinking coffee all morning? How much sleep did I get last night? Oftentimes I have my answer and can let go of the negativity and then go get a snack or a big glass of water or take a nap.
The flip side is the euphoria (at times almost mania) I get from coffee - that caffeine high is wonderful. However, that my overall mood can be so altered by these things leaves me wondering what really IS me. All this brings me to the weather.
Traditionally Spring is the worst season for me mentally. My stress and anxiety climb. This year I am particularly trying to observe myself and how I'm doing. Thus far I am watching my ability to sleep melt away. It's not just that the dogs are ready to go earlier and earlier each day as the sun rises ever earlier - I feel unable to sleep or nap. Thankfully it doesn't seem to bother me at night.
As the weather warmed up and the snow began to melt, I felt something akin to the euphoria I normally only feel with coffee. I finally found the motivation to get cleaning and organizing. Thankfully it was in the midst of this "happiness" that all the bills piled up with needed repairs and I was able to blithely commit to debt. I was actually laughing and joking with the gal at the plumbing and heating company when the furnace had died.
Then the snow came back.
We had heavy wet cold snow this week. The skies went gray. The air got cold and damp. The ground is covered again in white. I found myself mourning the crocuses. I found myself wanting to do nothing but sleep and eat lots of carbs. Ultimately I thought - I really am not all that removed from the animals of the forest am I?
For example, I've learned that if I let myself get dehydrated over the course of the day I feel much more tired in the afternoon than if I've been drinking water throughout. When I'm overly tired, I feel blue, more so than at other times. My physical self affects my emotional self - much more than I ever would have thought.
I've trained myself to do a quick check when I start to feel pissy, tired, sad, or downright angry. Have I eaten? Have I only been drinking coffee all morning? How much sleep did I get last night? Oftentimes I have my answer and can let go of the negativity and then go get a snack or a big glass of water or take a nap.
The flip side is the euphoria (at times almost mania) I get from coffee - that caffeine high is wonderful. However, that my overall mood can be so altered by these things leaves me wondering what really IS me. All this brings me to the weather.
Traditionally Spring is the worst season for me mentally. My stress and anxiety climb. This year I am particularly trying to observe myself and how I'm doing. Thus far I am watching my ability to sleep melt away. It's not just that the dogs are ready to go earlier and earlier each day as the sun rises ever earlier - I feel unable to sleep or nap. Thankfully it doesn't seem to bother me at night.
As the weather warmed up and the snow began to melt, I felt something akin to the euphoria I normally only feel with coffee. I finally found the motivation to get cleaning and organizing. Thankfully it was in the midst of this "happiness" that all the bills piled up with needed repairs and I was able to blithely commit to debt. I was actually laughing and joking with the gal at the plumbing and heating company when the furnace had died.
Then the snow came back.
We had heavy wet cold snow this week. The skies went gray. The air got cold and damp. The ground is covered again in white. I found myself mourning the crocuses. I found myself wanting to do nothing but sleep and eat lots of carbs. Ultimately I thought - I really am not all that removed from the animals of the forest am I?
2 comments:
Caffeine I shun, it's the Mormon in me ... Yea right!!Makes me shaky, hot flashes, and extremely anxious, ..so I don't do caffeine very often.
The seasons I don't really notice a difference when they change, down here in Florida. Summer I NOTICE,...because of the HEAT & HUMIDITY,...that is if it's the normal rainy Summers Florida has. But if it's a drought Summer, which has been usual for the past 2 years it's not so humid and the weather isn't all that bad.
No, ... you can keep U.P. Winters, and Spring. Summer on the other hand isn't so bad in da U.P eh!!
The only thing I like about Summer in FL, is Hurricanes. Yea, I enjoy inclement weather.
I don't do Winter. If I could hibernate..................
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