Just Kidding...

When kids lash out with a mean spirited comment, perhaps at the cost of one child's esteem in order to win laughs from the rest of the crowd - human pecking order? - he or she will often attempt to wipe the slate clean with the weak, "But I was just kidding."

Let's face it. Humor usually has a bite to it. It often involves ridicule, often with good reason. Think of Tonight Show monologues, for example. There is an inherent social purpose to the humor. However, often the ridicule is deliberate and demeaning - jokes about "fags" or "polacks" or "niggers." The jokes don't have to use those actual labels to carry the spirit of those labels.

Challenge an individual and he or she may fall back on, "Relax! I was just kidding!" The inherent problem is that the situation falls somewhere on the scale between overly righteous political correctness sensitivity on the part of the "victim" and outright mean spirited racial or gender or homophobic prejudice on the part of the teller of the joke. How do we sort it out?

Power is a good place to begin. What are the power dynamics inherent in the joke? These involve the nature of the joke, the make up of the audience, and the social context in which it is told. Confused? Let me try and explain.

A joke is told at an office party about kerdoodles and their inherent pushiness and nearly everyone laughs. The group is made up primarily of kerplutzes. In fact the only kerdoodle present is an up and coming employee who has been making rapid advancement in the ranks. The joke is told "out of earshot" but quite possibly with the intent of being overheard by the kerdoodle. The power dynamic here is clear - an individual threatened by the achievement of another, uses humor to undermine the abilities of another.

The same joke is told by a group of kerplutzes at deer camp - these would be Yooper kerplutzes. There is nary a kerdoodle in sight for miles. Now this joke about the other is fostering a sense of camaraderie. Perhaps the economy has gone sour and the kerplutzes are feeling much more insecure about their financial security. The power dynamic here is more about social groups and tribal behavior - group "us-versus-them" thinking.

Finally the same joke is told at a party made up entirely of kerdoodles. The beer and wine has been flowing. They all have a good laugh. Once again the dynamic is social group and tribal in nature, but the power aspect has shifted. Self deprecating humor often seeks to rally the troops, but in a more defensive, build ourselves up manner.

The very same joke - yet clearly the first of the three scenarios is the worst due to the power dynamics involved. So who's racist here? Who's prejudiced? Simply poor taste?

My understanding of racism involves power dynamics. However, when I googled the word, the on line definitions make no mention of power. The current definitions allow for labeling any individual, act or speech as "racist" that involves the denigration of another group and the belief in the superiority of your own group. With these definitions it becomes possible for a member of a minority group to be racist.

In the past I would have argued that a member of a minority out of power cannot be truly racist as there is no oppression occuring behind the prejudice. In other words, if members of the white majority make statements or tell jokes that denigrate members of a minority - the prejudice involves maintaining the group power of the majority.

If a member of a minority out of power makes statements or tells jokes that denigrate members of the powerful majority - the prejudice is about trying to undermine the authority of the group power of the majority. Can you see the difference?

So where am I going with all this? We just made it through another Halloween. If "Just Kidding" had a holiday, it would be Halloween. And so I share the following image posted yesterday on Facebook.

Now the Upper Peninsula is incredibly white. It is likely that there wasn't a single person of color at this party. What is the "just kidding" that is going on here?

Lose the dark face and the costume can shift to poking fun at a sort of disco style - but I would bet that this individual just decided to dress up like a "black guy." Isn't that a riot? ...what? ...what's the matter?

What is really disturbing is that this is a local television celebrity, albeit at a private party. I suspect that there won't be any fallout over this, but I'm waiting to see if the images end up pulled off of Facebook. The whole thing just makes me wince.

In the end, I will likely chalk this up simply to poor taste and poor judgement (particularly in posting the image on a social network). I'm sure he was "just kidding." Peace.