Did ya ever have one of those days where...
(Warning: apparent non sequitur that will make sense eventually)
Good buddy Maria posted this bit about Heaven and this was my comment:
"For me heaven will be leaving an isolated existence as a single "human" and rejoining the font of energy of which we are a mere small portion. This being created around this body of cells will no longer be, and instead will be like a bucket of water poured back into the ocean. Hell would be an eternity as an isolated spirit - kept apart from the God energy that is love."
I strongly believe in the connection that unifies us - my blog quote from Amy Tan: "The world is not a place, but the vastness of the soul" - this unifying force is love - God is love. I don't mean romantic love or the filial love we have between parents and children. It is a genuine compassion for humanity - even the briefest moment of understanding between strangers waiting for a bus in the rain.
On a day like today I am more sensitive to being separated from the source of all that is love. This is different then being lonely, though I believe many people experience this as being "lonely." They then place themselves into a crowd or grab some friends or visit their children to alleviate the ache. Others may begin cleaning and organizing, jogging, or turn to the bottle. We so badly want the ache to go away.
The challenge of being human is that we are isolated individuals. If we are fortunate we manage to find a few other individuals who come close to truly understanding the being existing in the cells that form our physical bodies. Even then, however, there are times when we still feel the isolation. Many many others live out our lives feeling that we are not really understood by any of our loved ones.
Over time this isolation we all experience can undermine important relationships in our lives. These relationships seem failed because the other one still doesn't seem to "get" what we're about. Spouses drift apart, siblings never talk or visit, friends move off down different paths. We are not aware that we are all reacting to this isolation of our physical existence.
My brother's going to think I've found some funky mushrooms again in the woods. I suppose I am a bit of a mystic. I sat down to find a way to blog about my mood today - my lost sense of balance and this is what ended up in print.
When you are normally comfortable in solitude and actively seek out the peace and quiet, but have days like today that still ache - it is easier to sense this is different than loneliness. It is a beautiful day - low 60's, sunny, light breeze, few bugs. The dogs are in and out and romping. The beauty of my location cannot be adequately described on this blog. Filtered sunlight through the green maples. I know that I am blessed and yet I ache for God.
I hope that this ramble makes some sense. I didn't want to put up a blog piece that said simply "I'm in a funky mood." I am very self-conscious of pathos. That is not my intention in sharing. Rather I hope to describe so that others may say - "Ah, yes, me too." Peace all.
(Warning: apparent non sequitur that will make sense eventually)
Good buddy Maria posted this bit about Heaven and this was my comment:
"For me heaven will be leaving an isolated existence as a single "human" and rejoining the font of energy of which we are a mere small portion. This being created around this body of cells will no longer be, and instead will be like a bucket of water poured back into the ocean. Hell would be an eternity as an isolated spirit - kept apart from the God energy that is love."
I strongly believe in the connection that unifies us - my blog quote from Amy Tan: "The world is not a place, but the vastness of the soul" - this unifying force is love - God is love. I don't mean romantic love or the filial love we have between parents and children. It is a genuine compassion for humanity - even the briefest moment of understanding between strangers waiting for a bus in the rain.
On a day like today I am more sensitive to being separated from the source of all that is love. This is different then being lonely, though I believe many people experience this as being "lonely." They then place themselves into a crowd or grab some friends or visit their children to alleviate the ache. Others may begin cleaning and organizing, jogging, or turn to the bottle. We so badly want the ache to go away.
The challenge of being human is that we are isolated individuals. If we are fortunate we manage to find a few other individuals who come close to truly understanding the being existing in the cells that form our physical bodies. Even then, however, there are times when we still feel the isolation. Many many others live out our lives feeling that we are not really understood by any of our loved ones.
Over time this isolation we all experience can undermine important relationships in our lives. These relationships seem failed because the other one still doesn't seem to "get" what we're about. Spouses drift apart, siblings never talk or visit, friends move off down different paths. We are not aware that we are all reacting to this isolation of our physical existence.
My brother's going to think I've found some funky mushrooms again in the woods. I suppose I am a bit of a mystic. I sat down to find a way to blog about my mood today - my lost sense of balance and this is what ended up in print.
When you are normally comfortable in solitude and actively seek out the peace and quiet, but have days like today that still ache - it is easier to sense this is different than loneliness. It is a beautiful day - low 60's, sunny, light breeze, few bugs. The dogs are in and out and romping. The beauty of my location cannot be adequately described on this blog. Filtered sunlight through the green maples. I know that I am blessed and yet I ache for God.
I hope that this ramble makes some sense. I didn't want to put up a blog piece that said simply "I'm in a funky mood." I am very self-conscious of pathos. That is not my intention in sharing. Rather I hope to describe so that others may say - "Ah, yes, me too." Peace all.
1 comment:
I am chuckling. I'm in a funky mood today too.
As you know, I had some big decisions I had to make at work. I have dealt with the rest of the week being kind of weird. It is a little like this week's Gospel...feeling like I am not regarded as a prophet in my own country.
My decisions turned the office temporarily upside down and left one person pretty much despising me. But I still know in my heart they were the right decisions at the right time and had to be done.
We all like comfort, even if it is "comfortable dysfunction." I have spent the weekend mostly quietly alone, realizing I need this time. When I went to church today, I realized I was "not ready for re-entry" into my work world on Monday, because something totally unrelated tripped my fear trigger. But I sat still and rode through it, and I realized these are misguided fears.
So I will sit still for the rest of today. I took a 5 mile walk and cleared my brain, and now I realize that was just a reaction that I came close to picking up some toxic crap and smearing it on myself, but still in the end I did not do it. That's growth!
Ha, I am rambling too! But I guess at least you know I am in the same neighborhood, so you are not alone!
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